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Catjizz Fake
5th March 2007, 14:33
Ticklish allsorts.
A short story by Fred.

Once upon a time there was a man called who lived in Queens Domain. He was dispicable and spent his days immersing himself in filth. He would sneak into people's backyards and steal womens knickers off the clotheslines, and would take upskirt photos of the business women on the busses. What a seedy little man. And as he grew older, he became seedier and seedier, and looked for more depraved ways to keep himself entertained.

One evening, he found himself walking down New Town road, and soon enough he stood in front of Ogilvie Girls High School. Feeling that familiar twang in his loins, the seedy little man scaled the fence and entered the school grounds. After a few moments, he had located the senior dormitory.

Very quietly and carefully, he snuck a glance into a nearby window. Inside, two unspeakably gorgeous teenage girls were in their pyjamas, laughing with each other, Sea FM turned up loud. He had not been noticed. One of the girls, her dark hair in her pigtails, said something rude that the seedy little man could not quite hear. The other girl, her blonde locks flowing freely, turned bright red and began giggling uncontrollably. After a moment, she regained some composure and picked up her pillow. 'No,' screamed the brounette in mock terror, as the pillow came down on her head. 'You're so mean, she said, stifling a giggle of her own, as she picked up her pillow and swang.

As they played, the seedy little man felt the bulge in his jeans swell and tighten. He could not hold on for much longer.

Now, the brounette had been pinned down to her bed, the blonde easily held both her arms with one of her own. 'This is what you get for saying stuff about me, Gertred!', she said, as she stuck her hand under her pyjama top and tickled her ribs. Gertrad thrashed about, tears of laughter on her cheeks, but she could not escape. 'Hilda, leave me alone! Leave me alone,' she said.

The seedy little man fumbled with his belt and his fly. He felt his jeans and underpants fall to his ankles, his penis engored to its full size. With his right hand, he slowly stimulated its head as he watched the action unfold.

Finally, Hilda stopped tickling. Now, she still held Gertred down, her legs spread on her belly. 'What are you doing,' said Gertred.
Hilda began to unbutton Gertred's top. A question was on Gertred's lips, but it was never given air. She lie there, as Hilda exposed her soft flesh and cherry red nipples. As Hilda unbuttoned her own top, Gertred's hands stroked at her thighs, and pulled them tight around her sides, and felt her ass tight under her thin pyjama bottoms. Hilda's breasts were now exposed, and she leaned forward to kiss Gertred's mouth. There skin smoothly moved aganst one another, there nipples rubbing and sending shockwaves of pleasure through their bodies.

The seedy little man was almost at climax when he heard the security guard. 'What the fuck are you doing you filthy little ****! Put your fucken pants on! Stop wanking off! Hey!'
When the security guard got to him, he would tear him to shreds, and make sure he spent a very long time in Risdon Prison. But that was all thirty seconds away. Right now, as Gertred's little fingers were down the front of hilda's pants and their tongues were exploring each other's intimate places, the seedy little man shot a load of hot semen against the window. It hit in four thick bursts, but the girls did not notice.

The security guard's truncheon smacked hard against the seedy little man's balls, and his left nut ruptured and swelled and he fell to the ground, his brief moment of heaven taken away instantly. After a quick possum stomp, he rapped on the window and made the hot schoolgirls stop having sex with each other, and called the police and the seedy little man was locked away for many years.

Sometimes, when the seedy little man was locked up in his cell, and when he was getting his arsehole plugged with a prison shank held up against his ballsack, he thought of Gertred and Hilda, and it all felt worth it.

The End.

Catjizz Fake
6th March 2007, 11:39
Terms of Engorgement: The adventures of Trapdoor Tracy
A short story Leopold Shank.

Colbert Reinhardt was leaning against the bar, sipping on his double scotch. Standing beside him, completly enthralled, staring up at him with her large dark eyes, was a strikingly beautiful young woman. 'So what happened next?' she said.
'Well,' said Reinhardt, 'like I said before, Maddie, my line of work is... frowned upon by some. Here is not the best of places to be discussing such matters'.
He smiled, conspiratorially.
'Well, were could we talk?'
Reinhardt took another sip, and looked at his watch, dragging out the seconds. 'Perhaps we could go back to your place?'
The faintest hint of the smile was on his face. Maddie considered the proposition, biting her lip. 'Perhaps,' she said.

Shortly after, Maddie had put her banana dacquarie on the bar, and excused herself to the ladies room. Reindhart drained his scotch and waited nonchalantly. It was almost too easy. One of the perks of his job. Maddie returned, placing her tiny hand in his bearlike paw. They left the bar together, and walked in silence for a moment.

'We both know why we are going back to my place, Reinhardt.'
'Oh?'
They stopped walking.
'I know you would have picked up dozens of girls in the exact same way as you picked up me.'
Reinhardt said nothing. He tried to hide the smugness from showing on his face. He could see where this was leading.
'I don't care,' she moved in her lips closing in on his, 'I want you. I want you here. I want you now.'
Reinhardt took Maddie in his huge arms, their tongues and lips greedy for each other. They groped and fondled and dragged themselves into a nearby alley. She fumbled at his suit trousers, he at her tight jeans. Maddie bent herself over a garbage bin, her peachy butt white and irrisistable in the moonlight. 'Do me. Quick.'
Reinhardt needed no further instruction. He took his erect penis and guided it into her wet cavity. He thrust, hard, and again, and again, but not a forth time. Be breathed in deep, his entire body as rigid as his penis.
'Don't stop now honey,' said Maddy, but she was smiling, and already pulling up her pants.
Reinhardt tried to speak, but no words came, only throth. Is vision blurred with black ink spots, and he collapsed, spasming on the concrete. Maddy left without saying a word.

15 Hours Later, at the crime scene

'So,' said Agent Britt, 'You think we've got a serial killer on our hands?'
'Too early to say for sure,' said Agent Rygar, 'but the similarities are... striking.'
'I can't imagine that if two up and coming ice dealers would mysteriously die after being bitten my... something, on the penis, no less, with it just being a coincidence.'
'It is rather an odd signature, though, isn't it? How would one, exactly... arrange for this, if it was indeed a murder.'
'I can think of a way.'
'That would be...preposterous.'

To be continued.

Ljp86
7th March 2007, 00:10
Jake, you really, really, really need a root.

Roger the Cabin Boy
25th August 2008, 15:28
Have you gotten that root yet, 'fish?

walshy
25th August 2008, 15:41
I lol'ed.

Almost as good as the gay pr0n one a while back :D

Catjizz Fake
25th August 2008, 15:54
Jake, you really, really, really need a root.

Have you gotten that root yet, 'fish?

I don't know why I cop so much flack for bringing the sex. You don't accuse people like Brad Armstrong or Bill Henson or Dick Valentine or the man who directed Basic Instinct of needing a root.

Like those three men I get plenty of sex (stop laughing), my life is so concerned with depraved sex that it has taken over and it is all I can talk coherrently about...

I said stop laughing :thumbsd:

pepe
25th August 2008, 16:07
I'm not laughing jake, smiling but not laughing,

What i really want to know is, did any more unfortunate souls lose their manhood to the ice queen?

Nasty way to go !

jaxxon
25th August 2008, 16:09
I don't know why I cop so much flack for bringing the sex. You don't accuse people like Brad Armstrong or Bill Henson or Dick Valentine or the man who directed Basic Instinct of needing a root.

Like those three men I get plenty of sex (stop laughing), my life is so concerned with depraved sex that it has taken over and it is all I can talk coherrently about...

I said stop laughing :thumbsd:

Jakey, don't take it to heart, the first guys that tease you about bring the love are the first to miss you when youre gone. Keep up the good work. :thumbsu:

Geelong_Sicko
11th July 2010, 03:40
Jakey, Jakey, wherefore art though, Jakey?

Doyouwantmore
11th July 2010, 14:00
He is actually a seriously talented writer.

pickman
11th July 2010, 19:31
He is actually a seriously talented writer.

Tell me about it. :thumbsu:

I saw this thread and thought Jake was back :(

Curtis Stone
12th July 2010, 20:19
To be continued.

Vale. :(

pork_sword
12th July 2010, 22:22
Vale. :(
I hope he not ded :( Can Chirf or Syd extract details from when he signed up to BF or here and see if someone can make contact. I'm worried about the young chap. Brought so many genuine lulz.