My Boss is an Arsehole

[hawkeye23]

Fair dinkum, if I weren't going on holidays, I'd be sorely tempted to knock his fucking block off.

I am highly proficient at my job. How else would I be able to spend as much time on the interweb as I do? However, my boss is a new manager, and is determined to do whatever he can to "manage" me. I HATE being "managed", and he was made well aware of this in our initial "chat" when he first took over our team. Regardless, this knobjockey is determined to eavesdrop on EVERY conversation I have on the telephone, and interrogate me about them afterwards, including conversations with my partner. What the fuck is going on with that?

I am not being allowed to do my own time management, workload management or any other fucking management, because this fucking arseclown is doing it all. Honestly, I think he's aiming for total fucking world domination, and it's giving me the right royal shits. Let me do my fucking job, for fuck's sake.

[end rant]

Anyone else dealing with cases of retrospective abortion masquerading as knobjockey managers?

[mr smooth]

my boss gets in at 9:30, goes for a shit, then gets a coffee from the bean bar, drinks it while reading either pc authority or the interweb, then gets into telling us how badly we do our job or craps on about how much better his car is than everyone elses, then he goes to lunch (for 2 hours)

he gets back, then goes for a piss, then goes for another coffee, goes talking to other managers for the rest of the day, and knocks off at around 4:45pm

and then last week, this arse hole wouldn't let me take a day off so i could take my wife to have an amnio done to see if our baby is going to be down syndrome (i ended up threatening to resign to get the day off)

feel your pain hawk, feel your pain..

[Magnum27]

Fair dinkum, if I weren't going on holidays, I'd be sorely tempted to knock his fucking block off.

I am highly proficient at my job. How else would I be able to spend as much time on the interweb as I do? However, my boss is a new manager, and is determined to do whatever he can to "manage" me. I HATE being "managed", and he was made well aware of this in our initial "chat" when he first took over our team. Regardless, this knobjockey is determined to eavesdrop on EVERY conversation I have on the telephone, and interrogate me about them afterwards, including conversations to my partner. What the fuck is going on with that?

I am not being allowed to do my own time management, workload management or any other fucking management, because this fucking arseclown is doing it all. Honestly, I think he's aiming for total fucking world domination, and it's giving me the right royal shits. Let me do my fucking job, for fuck's sake.

[end rant]

Anyone else dealing with cases of retrospective abortion masquerading as knobjockey managers?

Maybe you rate yourself too highly as an employee. Learn to deal with authority and you may get along.

[Syd]

I think he's aiming for total fucking world domination...

Sounds like a graduate of the Sydley School of Management. :thumbsu:

Lesson #1: "I think, therefore YOU do".

Mind you. I am the one taking over the world, not him. :cool:





pssst, owners are arseholes hawkies, bosses are ace!

[mr smooth]

pssst, owners are arseholes hawkies, bosses are ace!
generally correct, there are a couple of exceptions...

[Syd]

my boss gets in at 9:30, goes for a shit, then gets a coffee from the bean bar, drinks it while reading either pc authority or the interweb, then gets into telling us how badly we do our job or craps on about how much better his car is than everyone elses, then he goes to lunch (for 2 hours)

he gets back, then goes for a piss, then goes for another coffee, goes talking to other managers for the rest of the day, and knocks off at around 4:45pm..

Another example of perfect management in the modern workplace.

Replace the word "car", with "boat" and it sounds pretty much like my day. :thumbsu:

And, not to be picky, but he obviously IS BETTER or he wouldn't have so much time to go around motivating the staff. ;)

[hawkeye23]

Maybe you rate yourself too highly as an employee. Learn to deal with authority and you may get along.

Go fuck yourself.

Larry Bird was shit.

[financialpanther]

Sounds like a graduate of the Sydley School of Management. :thumbsu:

Lesson #1: "I think, therefore YOU do".

Mind you. I am the one taking over the world, not him. :cool:





pssst, owners are arseholes hawkies, bosses are ace!
Directors are assholes, bosses are ok.

[financialpanther]

Go fuck yourself.

Larry Bird was shit.
I'll pretend you didn't say that Hawk (about Larry Bird being shit)

[mr smooth]

Another example of perfect management in the modern workplace.

Replace the word "car", with "boat" and it sounds pretty much like my day. :thumbsu:

And, not to be picky, but he obviously IS BETTER or he wouldn't have so much time to go around motivating the staff. ;)
this fucking arsehole has been hanging onto our payrises as well to to make himself feel more important!!! they were due at the end of JUNE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!

fucking prick :mad:

[Syd]

this fucking arsehole has been hanging onto our payrises as well to to make himself feel more important!!! they were due at the end of JUNE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!

fucking prick :mad:

Mummy, whats a "payrise"???? :confused:

[mr smooth]

Mummy, whats a "payrise"???? :confused:
a managers erection i believe... ;):thumbsu:

[hawkeye23]

I'll pretend you didn't say that Hawk (about Larry Bird being shit)

Is the pic in your aviator (Lenny* trademark) two turtles fucking??

Larry Bird was shit. Everyone knows white men can't jump :p

[financialpanther]

Close - its a turtle trying to fuck a statue.

I thought it was apt.

[Borgsta]

Some of you may remember me ranting about my boss a year ago (the ball scratcher with bad breath), well he left about 3 months. His replacement must be able to fly from Australia to Japan as he is exactly the fucking same as your boss Hawkeye. I've already had to have 2 meetings with him and 1 with his boss as I pretty much dont give a fuck what he says and let him know as much. Ive been here for 3 years and gotten praise from basically every manager around here and suddenly I need all this "managing". Fuck off!

[/end rant]

Good luck with that Hawkeye.

[hawkeye23]

Ive been here for 3 years and gotten praise from basically every manager around here and suddenly I need all this "managing". Fuck off!

[/end rant]

Our stories are eerily similar. Who is channelling who? :eek:

Good luck with that Hawkeye.

Thanks Borgsta. I'm hoping my impending holiday will go some way to reducing my care factor about it.

[Magnum27]

Is the pic in your aviator (Lenny* trademark) two turtles fucking??

Larry Bird was shit. Everyone knows white men can't jump :p


What the fuck would you know about basketball ?

Let me guess you follow footy to see the boys in their shorts

[hawkeye23]

What the fuck would you know about basketball ?

Let me guess you follow footy to see the boys in their shorts

Is that the best you've got? Bring it on, bitch.

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

See Larry, you're getting all stressed out. Take it to the drunk tank m'boy. From there, flame on.

[Johnny Drama]

Fair dinkum, if I weren't going on holidays, I'd be sorely tempted to knock his fucking block off.

I am highly proficient at my job. How else would I be able to spend as much time on the interweb as I do? However, my boss is a new manager, and is determined to do whatever he can to "manage" me. I HATE being "managed", and he was made well aware of this in our initial "chat" when he first took over our team. Regardless, this knobjockey is determined to eavesdrop on EVERY conversation I have on the telephone, and interrogate me about them afterwards, including conversations with my partner. What the fuck is going on with that?

I am not being allowed to do my own time management, workload management or any other fucking management, because this fucking arseclown is doing it all. Honestly, I think he's aiming for total fucking world domination, and it's giving me the right royal shits. Let me do my fucking job, for fuck's sake.

[end rant]

Anyone else dealing with cases of retrospective abortion masquerading as knobjockey managers?
I say get your arse out of forums and do some work. :rolleyes:

[Magnum27]

See Larry, you're getting all stressed out. Take it to the drunk tank m'boy. From there, flame on.


Not flaming on chief, just responding to an ill in formed comment that's all.

Looks like hawkeye should change his/her name to Platypus ( protected species ), as soon as someone has a shot at her/him the mods come running .

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Lets all keep it to the topic of the OP shall we? Good.

[mocaholic]

You are all pussays.

You have not had a boss from hell until:
- he tells you that you are an unfit parent (he doesn’t have kids);
- to ‘counsel’ you, he takes you into the floor foyer (the only access to the liftwell), and basically yells at you for being a hopeless employee so you cry (ps – only to FEMALE employees, most blokes are bigger than him);
- he steals from the honesty box which is for a charity for maxilo-cranial reconstruction, and on looking at the picture on the box says: “you’d drown them at birth, wouldn’t you?”
- he pulls all the male members of the team together and is sympathetic to us whilst he says: “look, I don’t want to say this, but the girls (ie, female team members) have asked me to say…” and in fact the girls had not mentioned anything of the sort.
- After a staff member topped himself (not in our team), he was called upon to deliver the work/life balance to us whilst telling suicide jokes.
- After paying exorbitant fees to an external consultant to get a snapshot of our team’s ‘satisfaction’ and why we're not happy and cohesive, he bails us up in a meeting room for two hours going through the report word by word, questioning every point, and accusing the team members as the whim took him, ie: “you said this, didn’t you? Why would you say this? I can’t believe you said this.”
- When releasing information about payscales at a special presentation, everyone of us noted that we were all well below the median range, some below the lowest point. When we raised this issue, we (well, me mainly) were called Bolsheviks, lucky to have jobs in the first place, inept etc.
- When I found out my one-y-o daughter had had a fit (febrile convulsion), which I found via a voice message from my wife, at 6.00pm during a break in a meeting (all our meetings were after 5.00pm), I went back into the conference room (I was giving a pres’n at the time) and when I said “I think I’d better go, one of my daughters has had a fit”, he stops me and says “Just before you go, could you go through the specs…” before being told off by his boss, who was in the meeting, who tells me to fuck off home that second.
- The next day, after spending the night at ICU in Monash, I go into work (to my eternal shame) at lunch after ringing my mate telling him I’ll be late in – and my boss cracks it because I’m late.
And this isn't even starting on his ineptitude as a manager and his inability to do his job. This is just scratching the surface.

[mr smooth]

oh i need to hear more of this... ;)

that isn't an asshole, he's just being a ****!!!

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Winner.

Just out of curiosity what industry are you in?

[hawkeye23]

moc, sounds like your boss is a case for retrospective abortion as well.

Happy to assist with this when I get back from Perth :p

[mr smooth]

moc, sounds like your boss is a case for retrospective abortion as well.

Happy to assist with this when I get back from Perth :p
what you doing in perth, i thought you were in brisvegas (how was it by the way?)

[mocaholic]

moc, sounds like your boss is a case for retrospective abortion as well.

Happy to assist with this when I get back from Perth :p
Since this position, he has been promoted and is now on our intranet as a mentor.

He is a psychopath.

[hawkeye23]

what you doing in perth, i thought you were in brisvegas (how was it by the way?)

I'm a busy high-flyer. I flew into Brisbane on Saturday midday, went to the game on Sunday, and flew back to Melbourne on Sunday night.

I fly out to Perth on Thursday afternoon, and come back next Friday morning. I get around ;) :p

[mocaholic]

Winner.

Just out of curiosity what industry are you in?
Finance, but this was an IT project.

When we outsourced our developers to India, I learnt a lot about racism, too.

[mr smooth]

When we outsourced our developers to India, I learnt a lot about racism, too.
they aren't too big on the white man are they...

[mocaholic]

they aren't too big on the white man are they...
No no, you misunderstand. My boss was doing all the classic 'Indian' gags - (but badly) you know, 'oh good golly', 'lots of curry' etc whilst wobbling his head around and laughing to us about how crap they are.

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Moc you cannot, I repeat, CAN NOT post that list, tell us it is the tip of the iceberg and leave it at that.

Tell us more. Now.

[Lance Uppercut]

good god moc, that's one hell of a motherfucker you have there

[crackers57]

No no, you misunderstand. My boss was doing all the classic 'Indian' gags - (but badly) you know, 'oh good golly', 'lots of curry' etc whilst wobbling his head around and laughing to us about how crap they are.

Maybe someone should write a sit-com using this guy as the main plot and get Ricky Ger.............hang on a minute

[Bombers 2003]

Maybe someone should write a sit-com using this guy as the main plot and get Ricky Ger.............hang on a minute
Call it the "The Office",Though i think that one's be done before.
Though instead of Ricky Gervais writing we could perhaps get ICDM to write it and call it the "Adelaide Office"?

[Piston Broke]

My boss is alright, sucks to be you fuckers.

It is funny though, please do continue.

[RoosterLad]

I was a boss at my last job before i quit and went back to study. I can tell you now, i was a fucking gun to work with. Absolute legend.

[hawkeye23]

I was a boss at my last job before i quit and went back to study. I can tell you now, i was a fucking gun to work with. Absolute legend.

Being a team leader at McDonald's doesn't count as being a boss. And "going back to study" does not mean "doing year 11".

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

I can't say I've ever had a really bad boss. I must sense them at interview time. I know for a fact my boss from my high school part time days could probably start a thread called "My Employee is an Arsehole" :D

[RoosterLad]

Being a team leader at McDonald's doesn't count as being a boss. And "going back to study" does not mean "doing year 11".


Sorry but thats not funny. If your next post is poo poo i will ban you.

[Captain Sensible]

I've had some bad bosses but I've always been the employee from hell so I guess it all cancels itself out. These days I like my job because I dont really have a boss and I only go into the office once a fortnight. They try not to bother me and I'm happy to leave them alone so everybodies happy.

[Jeremias]

Nah, my boss isn't an asshole

Oh wait, I don't have one, I'm still at school :p

Next year will be different. Probably get a job at some stage. But noone tells Jeremias what to do :D

[Mike Oxlong]

You are all pussays.

You have not had a boss from hell until:
- he tells you that you are an unfit parent (he doesn’t have kids);
- to ‘counsel’ you, he takes you into the floor foyer (the only access to the liftwell), and basically yells at you for being a hopeless employee so you cry (ps – only to FEMALE employees, most blokes are bigger than him);
- he steals from the honesty box which is for a charity for maxilo-cranial reconstruction, and on looking at the picture on the box says: “you’d drown them at birth, wouldn’t you?”
- he pulls all the male members of the team together and is sympathetic to us whilst he says: “look, I don’t want to say this, but the girls (ie, female team members) have asked me to say…” and in fact the girls had not mentioned anything of the sort.
- After a staff member topped himself (not in our team), he was called upon to deliver the work/life balance to us whilst telling suicide jokes.
- After paying exorbitant fees to an external consultant to get a snapshot of our team’s ‘satisfaction’ and why we're not happy and cohesive, he bails us up in a meeting room for two hours going through the report word by word, questioning every point, and accusing the team members as the whim took him, ie: “you said this, didn’t you? Why would you say this? I can’t believe you said this.”
- When releasing information about payscales at a special presentation, everyone of us noted that we were all well below the median range, some below the lowest point. When we raised this issue, we (well, me mainly) were called Bolsheviks, lucky to have jobs in the first place, inept etc.
- When I found out my one-y-o daughter had had a fit (febrile convulsion), which I found via a voice message from my wife, at 6.00pm during a break in a meeting (all our meetings were after 5.00pm), I went back into the conference room (I was giving a pres’n at the time) and when I said “I think I’d better go, one of my daughters has had a fit”, he stops me and says “Just before you go, could you go through the specs…” before being told off by his boss, who was in the meeting, who tells me to fuck off home that second.
- The next day, after spending the night at ICU in Monash, I go into work (to my eternal shame) at lunch after ringing my mate telling him I’ll be late in – and my boss cracks it because I’m late.
And this isn't even starting on his ineptitude as a manager and his inability to do his job. This is just scratching the surface.


I require:

Name
Address
Photo

Fee: On the house...this person must die.......slowly

[Mike Oxlong]

Nah, my boss isn't an asshole

Oh wait, I don't have one, I'm still at school :p

Next year will be different. Probably get a job at some stage. But noone tells Jeremias what to do :D


Centerlink will love you

[Jeremias]

Centerlink will love you

Nah, no thanks-i'd prefer to strive higher.

What would possibly make you say that. Have you had prior experience working for Centerlink? Don't be ashameed if you have, you can tell us :D

[Mike Oxlong]

Nah, no thanks-i'd prefer to strive higher.

What would possibly make you say that. Have you had prior experience working for Centerlink? Don't be ashameed if you have, you can tell us :D

Only experience with centerlink is dobbing in the little fuckers that try and use me as a fake referrence for their fortnightly form. ;)

My boss is an asshole as well.


I'm self employed

[mocaholic]

I require:

Name
Address
Photo

Fee: On the house...this person must die.......slowly
Great nick! I get it.

Look, I'm absolutely serious about this dude. Although I moved jobs about four years ago, I'm still good friends with the people I worked with there. It's like we have all been through hell together.

Some of his work efforts?
- The second day I was there he left a meeting and a few seconds later I hear a 'thump-thump, thump-thump', to which nobody paid any attention. When I asked what the hell that was, one girl rolled her eyes and said "It's [the boss] trying to get something for free from the big vending machine in the foyer". I kid you not.
- Telling his boss's boss that a new piece of software will be delivered on x date (incredibly stupid, given the SDLC) and then coming back to us that afternoon and giving us the time frame. "the Bus Specs won't take long, what about two days to write?" "Hang on, we've spoken to nobody, in the business, or in IT about this module - it cannot be done in that timeframe." "Well, your test cycle will be for seven days and till 9.00pm each night to help make up the time if you're late in delivering the specs to IT."
- He was so bad with his annual review discussions (they were almost two hours of agony and belittling - females were known to cry) that your self-esteem was rock-bottom. I cannot impress upon you how bad these meetings were.
- In a meeting with external consultants, he was throwing tea-bags at the ceiling (those foam tile things), some of which were getting stuck.
- Following a restructure, he called a meeting in which the new project director was attending. He got up and directed the meeting much to everyone's astonishment. (His conduct in meetings when he wasn't chairing them were deplorable - he'd either not turn up, or sabotage them.) Later at drinks that evening, one of my mates asked an 'innocent' question to the consultants working for us at the time (large, well-known firm) along the lines of "Wasn't it funny to see [the boss] get up and take control?" and the consultants, went off with unparalleled abuse (those of you who have worked with a group of external consultants may know that this is unheard of - they are to a fault apolitical, and never enter this sort of conflict), but their abuse of him - they'd worked with him for about six months by this stage) was staggering. Of course my mate who asked the question, did so in the knowledge that the new director was standing behind the consultants well within earshot.
- I can't tell you the amount of times we were called to do testing at 3, 4, 5am on Sunday mornings when we could've done them at 9.00am or even 2.00pm. Just cos he wanted us to.

Look, he is a clever guy and has a masters in (surprise, surprise) psychology. (Most of which he completed on work time, whilst we were going mad around him.) He was also found to have a book on 'anti-management', one of those books that talk about keeping your work force down by divisive means, constantly keeping them unsettled etc. He could even hold a conversation with you one-on-one and sometimes could almost convince you that he was human.

His peers hated his guts too - his boss (previous director) used to joke to the whole area that my boss' team were always marked harder in forced ranking sessions. Yeah, thanks, I'm glad you found it funny.

My theory is that he knew exactly what he was doing. Every little bit. I saw him turn on the fury at a meeting one day and storm out of the office. Two minutes later, whilst we were all a bit bemused (I was new to the team at this stage), he called me out and was perfectly normal in asking me to do something.

Psychopath.

[Magnum27]

Feel for all you people, my boss is a decent bloke, which makes work a little bearable.

[Madd Matt]

This is so embarassing, but:
I have a great boss, who is considerate, caring, doesn't yell, tries to help, all the good things....


but I'm about to leave because my career has stalled, and they refuse to pay me bigger moolah, despite me taking on 100% extra work over the past year. Scary as hell, because we have the best environment, I come and go as I please, everyone I work with is great, the work I do is easy enough for me to spend 7 hours a day on the net, however, with a little one, I need to start earning a little more.

So I've interviewed at a new place. First interview was with CEO, and he seemed like a nice guy. However, I met the "team" later on, and none really clicked with me straight away. Hence, I'm not sure if I should go there. The pay is 40% above my current salary, the work will be 100% harder, but I don't know if I'll enjoy the environment as much...
Very confused...:confused:

[jimmy35]

I don't even have a boss to speak of , a chain of command is about the closest thing but my 'supervisor' is okay.
I have had a horror or two before the PS but it's all good at the moment.

[Bombers 2003]

What the fuck would you know about basketball ?

Let me guess you follow footy to see the boys in their shorts
Nah she follows football to the umpires in their colored outfits.:mad:

[Magnum27]

Nah she follows football to the umpires in their colored outfits.:mad:


Man what are you smoking :confused:

[Bombers 2003]

Man what are you smoking :confused:
You're an idiot arnt you.

[Bombers 2003]

Man what are you smoking :confused:
I forgot to type "to see-----"

[Magnum27]

I forgot to type "to see-----"


Good one snapperhead.

[Jeremias]

Let's all have a big fight!

ALL IN!!!

:rolleyes:

[RoosterLad]

haha this is quite amusing

[AK-47]

Hawkeye, just engage in sexual relations with him. You'll get a good run of things.

[nicky]

Fair dinkum, if I weren't going on holidays, I'd be sorely tempted to knock his fucking block off.

I am highly proficient at my job. How else would I be able to spend as much time on the interweb as I do? However, my boss is a new manager, and is determined to do whatever he can to "manage" me. I HATE being "managed", and he was made well aware of this in our initial "chat" when he first took over our team. Regardless, this knobjockey is determined to eavesdrop on EVERY conversation I have on the telephone, and interrogate me about them afterwards, including conversations with my partner. What the fuck is going on with that?

I am not being allowed to do my own time management, workload management or any other fucking management, because this fucking arseclown is doing it all. Honestly, I think he's aiming for total fucking world domination, and it's giving me the right royal shits. Let me do my fucking job, for fuck's sake.

[end rant]

Anyone else dealing with cases of retrospective abortion masquerading as knobjockey managers?

You need to manage your boss.

My old collegue who is now one of my best mates taught me how to manage bosses. He would rock up to work at midday and make a big announcement that he'd arrived, he'd come over and sit on my desk and talk crap for half an hour, we'd play basket ball with scrunched up paper; this was all done with the CEO glaring at us.

His first rule was "train your boss". Let them know how you're going to work and what to expect from you, do not let them dictate the terms and conditions.

Do not get into arguments about it just dictate the terms, i cannot emphasize this enough.

Hawkeye be an arrogant cow and don't even acknowledge his rules, if he asks you to do something that is behaviour related just smile at him and do the opposite. Eventually he'll have to think about new ways to manage you and if he's a typical manager he will ask you "how do you want to be managed.

[financialpanther]

Your fired.

[Kaptain K]

My boss spends way too much time looking at porn on the net. He bludges about all the time, and some days does absolutely nothing at all.

And to top it off, he's always touching me inappropriately.




I swear, one of these days, i'm going to stop being freelance and get a job where I don't work for myself.

[Funky's alias]

yeah janitors don't have bosses - i mean how can you train someone to empty a bin, you're either good at it or not.

Aint that right jimmy? :D

Jimmy35 the best damn rubbish collector since Oscar the grouch.

I'd admonish you for this insult, but Im afraid you might put 4 fingers in.

[financialpanther]

I'd admonish you for this insult, but Im afraid you might put 4 fingers in.
Thats an image burned into the memorybanks.

[Salvidork Dali]

Chirf you are evil man, you get rid my artworks again, you like devil of culture, you are asshole
i hate you

[Bullet Proof]

Mine too

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

I'm bumping this one because it has much to offer. Add your stories so that all may enjoy the pain.

[O_rly?]

Well, sorry to rain on the parade, but my boss is fantastic. After almost 10 years at the company, was made redundant yesterday. He gave me as much time off as I needed to find another job (start on new job on Monday), when I wasn't looking for a job, he took no notice of all the time I spent on the internet at work, let me continue my studies at my desk, gave me a gift voucher, taking me out for an all expenses paid lunch with my team today and a good payout (already paid!).

[jimmy35]

To follow on with the good news theme , many years ago I worked as a landscape gardener and my boss was retiring and handing the business over to the son . The young bloke was a tool of the highest order , nothing like the old fella at all .
The last day before change over happened to be my birthday and the boss downed tools at lunchtime and we went to the pub for a counterie and many drinks until late in the evening when his wife and my gf at the time both turned up wondering where the hell we were.
Good bloke , bought a pub in Adelaide after that and had a heart attack and died only a few years later . A shame , he was 'one of natures true gentlemen' as the saying goes.

[hawkeye23]

You need to manage your boss.

My old collegue who is now one of my best mates taught me how to manage bosses. He would rock up to work at midday and make a big announcement that he'd arrived, he'd come over and sit on my desk and talk crap for half an hour, we'd play basket ball with scrunched up paper; this was all done with the CEO glaring at us.

His first rule was "train your boss". Let them know how you're going to work and what to expect from you, do not let them dictate the terms and conditions.

Do not get into arguments about it just dictate the terms, i cannot emphasize this enough.

Hawkeye be an arrogant cow and don't even acknowledge his rules, if he asks you to do something that is behaviour related just smile at him and do the opposite. Eventually he'll have to think about new ways to manage you and if he's a typical manager he will ask you "how do you want to be managed.

That's the thing.... I don't want to be managed AT ALL. I work autonomously. This Big Brother shit is unnecessary.

[Lance Uppercut]

That's the thing.... I don't want to be managed AT ALL. I work autonomously. This Big Brother shit is unnecessary.

Somehow I don't think you're going to get a response Hawk ;)

[jimmy35]

I'm not so sure , attention seekers/drama queens , rarely go quietly.

[hawkeye23]

Somehow I don't think you're going to get a response Hawk ;)

So I understand. Just catching up. What'd I miss?

[jimmy35]

The answer is out there.

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Not any more theres a password on it :)

[hawkeye23]

The answer is out there.

PM me then. I got sketchy details from Mag... oops, I mean Larry over the phone, with the promise of all the info when he gets home, but I want something to work with in the meatime :p

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Back to bosses. Nothing on Moc's story but...

I once had a boss who was not technically my boss but we were stuck in his section of the office so he would commandeer us for various tasks. He was the IT Manager of the firm. We'll call him Jack.

As an IT manager Jack was a good coffee boy.

Jack had THE loudest voice. Would purposefully turn up the volume if he was talking to Someone Important. Didn't matter who they were, if they were from a big company they rated extra decibels. The rep from Telstra or our the supplier of our blank CDs were considered celebrities to this guy.

Soon after starting the job he turfed the existing hardware supplier and brought in his own guy.

He had left his previous employer after ordering replacement chips (from his preferred supplier) for racks of servers - none of which needed replacements.

He was often caught out by people from other companies in meetings. They caught onto his ignorance pretty quickly and would invent, on the fly, acronyms and names of software. Jack would always say "yep, heard of that" or "that's in testing at the moment".

We were allowed IM as some employees were working off-site (for an Important Client who rated an extra-loud phone voice) and it was good for communication. Jack's off-sider (who could set up a server 3 times faster than Jack - we timed it) reported the manager would browse the IM messages so we started randomly adding "hi Jack you fat fuck" and other witticisms into our IM messages. The spying stopped.

The owners would play buzz-word bingo in meetings with a special list hidden away for fear Jack would find it and throw one of his tantrums.

He would be sucked in by vendors who'd tell him he was getting special deals as we were a big company (of 20 employees :rolleyes:) and they wanted to roll out new products with special customers. One particularly large investment of security card readers for every machine in the office he didn't get working for months because he was trying to install the software for entirely different operating systems. Sort of like pretending you are an expert mechanic and putting diesel in your Porsche.

He would brag about how much his wedding cost, how much he spent on accessories for his 4WD and rave about how good his preferred supplier was (with whom he'd go camping in his 4WD).

Everything was coming up Jack. :thumbsu:

Until one day one of the owners decided to double check the latest quote for hardware and got a bit of a shock.

When confronted, Jack called his preferred supplier and after a couple of whispered sentences put on his Someone Important voice and said "Oh yeah I see. So that was for the X instead of the Y? Oh and this was for the A instead of the B? You'll give us new quotes? Thanks mate."

As far as we could tell, but never prove, our IT manager had been getting kick-backs from his preferred supplier at every job he'd been in, and his supplier was happy to build the kickbacks into the quotes. Which sort of explained how, on his wage (he was so crap at his job his "security measures" could be circumvented by just typing in the name of any machine on the network to access all of its files - including docs of his wage negotiations with the owners) he could afford such a nice wedding, such a nice 4WD to go camping in and such a nice car for he and his wife.

Not long after this episode he changed jobs.

[Scratcher Gillespie]

I had a boss that used to fuck all his employees, does that count. Hardly a weekend went by without this guy plundering another young 18 year old vagina. He was 30. *sigh* I wish I was him.

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Sounds like fun, but at the end of the weekend he was still a Woolworths store middle-manager.

[Scratcher Gillespie]

Haha, even worse than that. Toys R Us actually.

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

Not even the luxury of pilfering prophylactics from his place of professional pursuit. Sad.

[mr smooth]

I had a boss that used to fuck all his employees, does that count. Hardly a weekend went by without this guy plundering another young 18 year old vagina. He was 30. *sigh* I wish I was him.
guys like that shit me off something chronic!!

i was i was them dammit!! :mad:

[PowerKat]

guys like that shit me off something chronic!!

i was i was them dammit!! :mad:

you wish you were a middle manager at Toys R Us?? :confused: :p

[mr smooth]

you wish you were a middle manager at Toys R Us?? :confused: :p
better than being a shitkicker at zamels!! :(

[Roger the Cabin Boy]

I am bumping this one - I know there are more stories out there.

[Jack Frost]

Been a few years






















































Bump

[Curtis Stone]

Epic fail bump by Rog. :D

Yep. Plenty more stories out there. :thumbsu:

EDIT: I thought Syd would have bumped this by now.

[Jack Frost]

Epic fail bump by Rog. :D

Yep. Plenty more stories out there. :thumbsu:

EDIT: I thought Syd would have bumped this by now.


Not to mention some of Bombers finest work :p

[Curtis Stone]

You're an idiot arnt you.

Indeed.

[Jack Frost]

Indeed.

You gotta miss that quality :D

[crackers57]

You gotta miss that quality :D


Oh yeah.

Pwnings of the Adelaide Krew of epic proportions.

He just toyed with them.

[Jack Frost]

I miss epic quality



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/Bummers2003bz9.jpg/300px-Bummers2003bz9.jpg

[crackers57]

I miss epic quality



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/Bummers2003bz9.jpg/300px-Bummers2003bz9.jpg

Absolute gold

[THRILLHO]

I miss epic quality



http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c5/Bummers2003bz9.jpg/300px-Bummers2003bz9.jpg


This is random, but is that the bloke that potters around Melbourne Uni Ballieu library everyday?

[Banana Republican]

post n00dz

[crackers57]

This is random, but is that the bloke that potters around Melbourne Uni Ballieu library everyday?

Every chance of that....does he carry a green suitcase?

[Charles Darwin]

Hahahah, people with jobs. Fucking idiots.

[Tex_21]

THe old TLC days. Rog talking to himself.

[FarQue]

A long long time ago I worked at a finance company.

The boss was an A grade cuntrag with a massive drinking problem. He'd read out the wrong stuff at meetings or yell at us for not meeting the monthly targets, and then realise he was looking at different months. Then he'd go off his nut because no one was paying attention or spoke up about the mistake, while we sat there shitting our pants. Never apologised or admitted he was wrong. Fuckin Swans supporter. He'd stagger into work looking like shit, and then pull me up for having too many cigarette breaks or for chatting to the girls.

One day he got a call from the collection centre for being late with his credit card payment and everyone found out about it. If you work for a finance company and get a credit card from your employer you'd at least make sure you paid that one first, especially if you're a manager. He hadn't paid for months the silly cunt. I kinda respected and pretended to listen to him after that. All his bullshit and freaking out was probably because he was always smashed or hungover, and couldn't get his shit together. Dysfunctional alcoholics I can forgive. Sober arseholes, no.

[peternorth]

A long long time ago I worked at a finance company.

The boss was an A grade cuntrag with a massive drinking problem. He'd read out the wrong stuff at meetings or yell at us for not meeting the monthly targets, and then realise he was looking at different months. Then he'd go off his nut because no one was paying attention or spoke up about the mistake, while we sat there shitting our pants. Never apologised or admitted he was wrong. Fuckin Swans supporter. He'd stagger into work looking like shit, and then pull me up for having too many cigarette breaks or for chatting to the girls.

that's all the info i need ;)

why is cuntrag permitted?

[crackers57]

A long long time ago I worked at a finance company.

The boss was an A grade cuntrag with a massive drinking problem. He'd read out the wrong stuff at meetings or yell at us for not meeting the monthly targets, and then realise he was looking at different months. Then he'd go off his nut because no one was paying attention or spoke up about the mistake, while we sat there shitting our pants. Never apologised or admitted he was wrong. Fuckin Swans supporter. He'd stagger into work looking like shit, and then pull me up for having too many cigarette breaks or for chatting to the girls.

One day he got a call from the collection centre for being late with his credit card payment and everyone found out about it. If you work for a finance company and get a credit card from your employer you'd at least make sure you paid that one first, especially if you're a manager. He hadn't paid for months the silly cunt. I kinda respected and pretended to listen to him after that. All his bullshit and freaking out was probably because he was always smashed or hungover, and couldn't get his shit together. Dysfunctional alcoholics I can forgive. Sober arseholes, no.

I wasn't aware Syd had a drinking problem

[FarQue]

Not sure many alcoholics themselves are aware they have a problem. A real mate would stock his fridge with beer so he doesn't have to get in the car during a bender to get more.

[Charles Darwin]

I wasn't aware Syd had a drinking problem

I thought it was a given.

[Syd]

I wasn't aware Syd had a drinking problem

Can't be married that many times without one, can you.

[crackers57]

Can't be married that many times without one, can you.

Oh, I always knew you drank plenty, just didn't realise it was a problem ;):D

[Jack Frost]

Can't be married that many times without one, can you.

It still won't erase the memories :p

[jimmy35]

Only the names.

[Jack Frost]

There will always be a reminder

[Syd]

Just no house. :(

[PowerKat]

my boss is a good bloke :thumbsu:

[Syd]

my boss is a good bloke :thumbsu:

A woman that knows her place. :thumbsu:

[PowerKat]

A woman that knows her place. :thumbsu:

hahaha :D

*pockets another bonus + payrise*

[Jack Frost]

hahaha :D

*pockets another bonus + payrise*


White with two thanks

[peternorth]

White with two thanks

either that or a simple "blow me now"

[Jack Frost]

Good call Northy :thumbsu:

[Tex_21]

either that or a simple "blow me now"
Or, "My balls won't suck themselves."

[Curtis Stone]

hahaha :D

*pockets another bonus + payrise*

The quirks of having a good set of pipes and full lips.

Playing your hand well. :thumbsu: