Ghost Who Walks
5th September 2006, 12:08
Is this funny? It is to me.
**********
I work for a company that provides premium SMS content.
The content we provide is OK, but I wouldn't really pay $4 for picture of a girl in a bikini for my phone.
So who does pay?
1) 12 year old boys. This invariably leads to a call to us from their parents about us selling stuff to a 12 year old. Never mind that the TV ads are shown late at night. Never mind that a 12 year old should not have an unrestricted mobile phone. Their precious little Achmed would never defile himself with this filth. Guess what lady? If it wasn't your 12 year old it was probably your husband who is now trying to hide his addiction to hot women. Get a boob job and the SMS bill will drop accordingly.
2) Men with poor English skills. The number of calls we get from some idiot woman whose husband 'never subscribed to your service' is quite high. "He doesn't even speak much English". A pair of firm breasts and an SMS shortcode needs no explanation. Sweetheart, if you were giving the man pleasure at 1AM instead of getting a headache and going to bed he wouldn't need to stay up and download pictures of scantily-clad women on his phone.
3) Drunk people who then forget they signed up. The typical call goes something like - He: "Youse have been chargin me all month for some SMS shit that I never asked for" - Me: "I have here a record of a request for the service at 2:45 AM on Sunday the Nth of X." - He: "Oh. Well I never asked for it and youse better stop sending me this shit" - Me: "I've cancelled it for you, you'll receive no more messages." He: "I'm not paying it/I want a refund." Me: "No rack off you drunken pervert."
4) Old blokes. I've gotten a few calls from old women (its always the women that they get to do the calling) about phone charges, they're always on a pension, they have always just gotten the phone and they always say "my husband wouldn't know how to use it even if he wanted to". Sorry love your hubby wants to see young chicks in g-bangers. Get the adult channel on FOXTEL, it's cheaper month-to-month.
5) People who 'lose' their phone. Endless calls from people who claim someone else must have signed them up. LOOK AFTER YOUR PHONE YOU TWIT!
6) Assorted noobs.
In short:
* If you give a phone to someone who can't pay the bill, block premium SMS. Telcos don't want to provide this option so they'll make you block all SMS or none at all. Write to the TIO and demand that telcos make this option available. (* Since writing some telcos now offer the option)
* Read the fine print.
* Don't let your idiot mates nick your phone and run up hundreds of dollars of premium SMS charges.
* Don't be a noob. Find out how your phone works and then DON'T USE THE FEATURES YOU CAN'T PAY FOR.
* $50 a month for a porn site subscription is much better value than $120 a month for tiny pictures of girls in g-strings.
Finally I will leave you all with a recording of a choice complaint received here at GWW Central:
http://www.box.net/public/cupletukto
**********
I work for a company that provides premium SMS content.
The content we provide is OK, but I wouldn't really pay $4 for picture of a girl in a bikini for my phone.
So who does pay?
1) 12 year old boys. This invariably leads to a call to us from their parents about us selling stuff to a 12 year old. Never mind that the TV ads are shown late at night. Never mind that a 12 year old should not have an unrestricted mobile phone. Their precious little Achmed would never defile himself with this filth. Guess what lady? If it wasn't your 12 year old it was probably your husband who is now trying to hide his addiction to hot women. Get a boob job and the SMS bill will drop accordingly.
2) Men with poor English skills. The number of calls we get from some idiot woman whose husband 'never subscribed to your service' is quite high. "He doesn't even speak much English". A pair of firm breasts and an SMS shortcode needs no explanation. Sweetheart, if you were giving the man pleasure at 1AM instead of getting a headache and going to bed he wouldn't need to stay up and download pictures of scantily-clad women on his phone.
3) Drunk people who then forget they signed up. The typical call goes something like - He: "Youse have been chargin me all month for some SMS shit that I never asked for" - Me: "I have here a record of a request for the service at 2:45 AM on Sunday the Nth of X." - He: "Oh. Well I never asked for it and youse better stop sending me this shit" - Me: "I've cancelled it for you, you'll receive no more messages." He: "I'm not paying it/I want a refund." Me: "No rack off you drunken pervert."
4) Old blokes. I've gotten a few calls from old women (its always the women that they get to do the calling) about phone charges, they're always on a pension, they have always just gotten the phone and they always say "my husband wouldn't know how to use it even if he wanted to". Sorry love your hubby wants to see young chicks in g-bangers. Get the adult channel on FOXTEL, it's cheaper month-to-month.
5) People who 'lose' their phone. Endless calls from people who claim someone else must have signed them up. LOOK AFTER YOUR PHONE YOU TWIT!
6) Assorted noobs.
In short:
* If you give a phone to someone who can't pay the bill, block premium SMS. Telcos don't want to provide this option so they'll make you block all SMS or none at all. Write to the TIO and demand that telcos make this option available. (* Since writing some telcos now offer the option)
* Read the fine print.
* Don't let your idiot mates nick your phone and run up hundreds of dollars of premium SMS charges.
* Don't be a noob. Find out how your phone works and then DON'T USE THE FEATURES YOU CAN'T PAY FOR.
* $50 a month for a porn site subscription is much better value than $120 a month for tiny pictures of girls in g-strings.
Finally I will leave you all with a recording of a choice complaint received here at GWW Central:
http://www.box.net/public/cupletukto