Not so great moments in Hook up History

[Rubber Pants]

As opposed to Dave Chapelle's Greatest moments in hook up history, here you can celebrate those near misses or where you met someone and if you wanted to you'd have f#cked but didn't or couldn't.

Mine goes back to a night at a mates house where there were 3 guys and 3 gals. Basically one of my mates had invited his missus over, her sister and another friend as well as my best mate and I.

Night started well, with a few drinks and general chat plus all the girls were extremely good looking (probably normally out of my range) and my best mate was hooking in with the friend so that left me with the younger sister.

That was fine by me as she was a smoking hot 18 year old. So basically everyone had unofficially paired up and we continued drinking. This is where it gets tragic though.....

I was a poor just graduated uni student and instead of buying some booze I was drinking my old mans home brew he'd prepared via his still. The stuff was potent and before long I was tanked. I was escorted outside and a rug placed around my shoulders whilst I threw up in the garden. However I was still being comforted by all the girls and they were trying to get me to drink water.

I think I slurred something like "Real men don't drink water" and staggered back indoors slumping to an upright position in a recliner. My chance wasn't shot just yet as the by now godesses in my eyes were calling to me seductively like sirens on the rocks to a sailor.

They were dancing the night away and calling for me to join them on the temporary dance floor. My sight was swimming but I thought right this is my last chance so with a mighty effort I pushed myself to my feet and staggered over to them. I saw their faces light up as I approached and they squeeled my name in delight.

But like H2F brushing off a fat chick I pushed past them and hurled what remained in my stomach into the kitchen sink. Then they partly undressed me and put me to bed in a childs room complete with racing car bed.

I'd blown it. The next morning hoping to get some browny points back I got up early cleaned the mess, did the dishes and everything. Only for my mates to wake up and tell me the girls had been picked up and taken home during the night. EPIC FAIL!

All's well that ends well though, my best mate ended up marrying the girl he hooked up with and now I'm going out with one of her friends so it wasn't a total waste.

[Whacker]

YOU SLEPT IN A RACING CAR BED!!!!one111!!!1!!!!!!11

[Swamp]

I couldnt sleep no matter how pissed i was. I'd just be sittin up going VVVRRRRRRRRMMMMM VRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMM VRRRRRRRRRM holding an imaginary steering wheel.

[Rubber Pants]

Hey don't derail my thread just because it was a racing car bed, there's plenty of other humour in there.

Share your own missed opportunities, I know I've got a few left.

[CATS]

Have you seen Grandma's Boy?

Where the friend (Jeff) has a car bed:


Alex: Dude, your bed is a car...
Jeff: Yeah, but it's a fucking sweet car.

and then Jeff pops out this great line:

Yeah, my roomates were talking about getting me a CB so I could talk to other car beds.

That shit is awesome

[Rubber Pants]

You know what, if your not careful I'm going to edit that part out of my story.

[bigburger]

Have you seen Grandma's Boy?

Where the friend (Jeff) has a car bed:



and then Jeff pops out this great line:



That shit is awesome


I love that movie

"Sit on my face"

[Whacker]

As opposed to Dave Chapelle's Greatest moments in hook up history, here you can celebrate those near misses or where you met someone and if you wanted to you'd have f#cked but didn't or couldn't.

Mine goes back to a night at a mates house where there were 3 guys and 3 gals. Basically one of my mates had invited his missus over, her sister and another friend as well as my best mate and I.

Night started well, with a few drinks and general chat plus all the girls were extremely good looking (probably normally out of my range) and my best mate was hooking in with the friend so that left me with the younger sister.

That was fine by me as she was a smoking hot 18 year old. So basically everyone had unofficially paired up and we continued drinking. This is where it gets tragic though.....

I was a poor just graduated uni student and instead of buying some booze I was drinking my old mans home brew he'd prepared via his still. The stuff was potent and before long I was tanked. I was escorted outside and a rug placed around my shoulders whilst I threw up in the garden. However I was still being comforted by all the girls and they were trying to get me to drink water.

I think I slurred something like "Real men don't drink water" and staggered back indoors slumping to an upright position in a recliner. My chance wasn't shot just yet as the by now godesses in my eyes were calling to me seductively like sirens on the rocks to a sailor.

They were dancing the night away and calling for me to join them on the temporary dance floor. My sight was swimming but I thought right this is my last chance so with a mighty effort I pushed myself to my feet and staggered over to them. I saw their faces light up as I approached and they squeeled my name in delight.

But like H2F brushing off a fat chick I pushed past them and hurled what remained in my stomach into the kitchen sink. Then they partly undressed me and put me to bed in a childs room complete with racing car bed.

I'd blown it. The next morning hoping to get some browny points back I got up early cleaned the mess, did the dishes and everything. Only for my mates to wake up and tell me the girls had been picked up and taken home during the night. EPIC FAIL!

All's well that ends well though, my best mate ended up marrying the girl he hooked up with and now I'm going out with one of her friends so it wasn't a total waste.
Quoted for history

[Guy Incognito]

As opposed to Dave Chapelle's Greatest moments in hook up history, here you can celebrate those near misses or where you met someone and if you wanted to you'd have f#cked but didn't or couldn't.

Mine goes back to a night at a mates house where there were 3 guys and 3 gals. Basically one of my mates had invited his missus over, her sister and another friend as well as my best mate and I.

Night started well, with a few drinks and general chat plus all the girls were extremely good looking (probably normally out of my range) and my best mate was hooking in with the friend so that left me with the younger sister.

That was fine by me as she was a smoking hot 18 year old. So basically everyone had unofficially paired up and we continued drinking. This is where it gets tragic though.....

I was a poor just graduated uni student and instead of buying some booze I was drinking my old mans home brew he'd prepared via his still. The stuff was potent and before long I was tanked. I was escorted outside and a rug placed around my shoulders whilst I threw up in the garden. However I was still being comforted by all the girls and they were trying to get me to drink water.

I think I slurred something like "Real men don't drink water" and staggered back indoors slumping to an upright position in a recliner. My chance wasn't shot just yet as the by now godesses in my eyes were calling to me seductively like sirens on the rocks to a sailor.

They were dancing the night away and calling for me to join them on the temporary dance floor. My sight was swimming but I thought right this is my last chance so with a mighty effort I pushed myself to my feet and staggered over to them. I saw their faces light up as I approached and they squeeled my name in delight.

But like H2F brushing off a fat chick I pushed past them and hurled what remained in my stomach into the kitchen sink. Then they partly undressed me and put me to bed in a childs room complete with racing car bed.

I'd blown it. The next morning hoping to get some browny points back I got up early cleaned the mess, did the dishes and everything. Only for my mates to wake up and tell me the girls had been picked up and taken home during the night. EPIC FAIL!

All's well that ends well though, my best mate ended up marrying the girl he hooked up with and now I'm going out with one of her friends so it wasn't a total waste.

Was it a Ferrari or a Lambo?

;)

[Rubber Pants]

Quoted for history

Knew that would happen. :D

I wish Jake was here he could contribute to this thread and have some compassion to another not so good lady killer.

[BuzzKillington]

Then they partly undressed me and put me to bed in a childs room complete with racing car bed.

Quoted for longevity.

I'm glad somebody decided to start a thread dedicated solely to racing car beds, I knew TLC was missing something - until now. All hail the racing car bed.

edit: seems i was a little too slow

[Swamp]

...complete with racing car bed.

http://i509.photobucket.com/albums/s332/Peggasusss/race_car_bed_2.jpg

Awesome!!!!

[CATS]

I love that movie

"Sit on my face"
JP is my favourite character.

If only I could find a man like him...I would be the happiest lady ever!!

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r45/Serendipityvb/grandmasboyJP.jpg

[Swamp]

Come on CAT'S, please don't derail the thread with your movie talk. This thread is about racing car beds and/or racing car bed-related stories. Please stick to the OP.

[Rubber Pants]

Sigh, it seems people are more interested in the racing car bed than my sad attempts at swooning glams.

So here are some more details:

She was a fast machine,
she kept her motor clean,
she was the best damn racing car bed,
that I've ever seen

Basically it was a generic red racing car (no brand names or badges on it) and was nice and shiny with fully sick moulded mag wheels.

There I hope your happy now

[BuzzKillington]

http://www.coolkidsfurniture.com/images/coolkids/products/formula1_red.jpg
My favourite ones are the F1's. Red is the fastest colour.

[Fapio]

BACK ON TOPIC.

I remember I was trying to score points with some chick after I drank a bottle of gin and had a dozen beers. Being a macho tool I decided to tell a slurred story about how i got into a fight with some bloke and I thought I was impressing her. I'm a fairly small lad so she says "you couldn't hurt a fly Daniel!"

After drinking a bottle of gin and numerous beers, I get abit aggressive so I proved my point by headbutting her. She dropped to the floor and I got kicked out of the pub. Felt abit bad about it, but she shouldn't have underestimated the power of my forehead.

P.s. I loved Grandma's boy, especially when he was stoned and came home and put the spaghetti ect. on a tray in the oven. Then he took the hot tray out with his bare hands and swore his head off. LMAO

Also, the bloke with the lion.:D

[Guy Incognito]

...complete with racing car bed.

http://i509.photobucket.com/albums/s332/Peggasusss/race_car_bed_2.jpg

Awesome!!!!

Mines better

http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm146/Bender571/hummer_1_-727x357.jpg

[CATS]

Come on CAT'S, please don't derail the thread with your movie talk. This thread is about racing car beds and/or racing car bed-related stories. Please stick to the OP.

http://www.geocities.com/mchumanbeing/gboy.jpg

Is that better?

[CATS]

http://www.coolkidsfurniture.com/images/coolkids/products/formula1_red.jpg
My favourite ones are the F1's. Red is the fastest colour.
http://freshome.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/car-bed.jpg

I would prefer this one!

[BuzzKillington]

Mines better

http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm146/Bender571/hummer_1_-727x357.jpg

But it's clearly not a racing car

[Swamp]

Mines better



Pffft... may i present to you, and the rest of the TLC, the coolest racing car bed of ALL TIME....

http://i509.photobucket.com/albums/s332/Peggasusss/Batmobile_1_-750x378.jpg

End thread.

[Chrisrocks53]

I sleep in a bin, that goes pretty fast rolling down a hill.

[Swamp]

http://www.geocities.com/mchumanbeing/gboy.jpg

Is that better?

Yes. Now post n00dz of yourself on a racing car bed. With those f**k me boots on.

[CATS]

Yes. Now post n00dz of yourself on a racing car bed. With those f**k me boots on.
ROFL

I need to find a racing car bed now! Anyone offering their car bed?

[Whacker]

where is said pic of cats ankle

[Rubber Pants]

BACK ON TOPIC.

I remember I was trying to score points with some chick after I drank a bottle of gin and had a dozen beers. Being a macho tool I decided to tell a slurred story about how i got into a fight with some bloke and I thought I was impressing her. I'm a fairly small lad so she says "you couldn't hurt a fly Daniel!"

After drinking a bottle of gin and numerous beers, I get abit aggressive so I proved my point by headbutting her. She dropped to the floor and I got kicked out of the pub. Felt abit bad about it, but she shouldn't have underestimated the power of my forehead.

Thank you for staying on topic. That is a very funny story but violence against women is not yet acceptable in Australia.

Reminds me of a time I was trying to be a tough guy and smashed my glass on the floor at the pub and then ground it into the floor. Unfortunately I was grinding it into a chicks foot :o

[Guy Incognito]

Pffft... may i present to you, and the rest of the TLC, the coolest racing car bed of ALL TIME....

http://i509.photobucket.com/albums/s332/Peggasusss/Batmobile_1_-750x378.jpg

End thread.

Mines Better

http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm146/Bender571/pedobat.png

[BuzzKillington]

Is this like a game of spot the difference?

edit: damn me and my not looking at things properly

[Swamp]

Oh man that's funny. If pedobear had of appraoched me as a youngin wearing a batman suit i would have let him have his way with me.

[Fapio]

Oh man that's funny. If pedobear had of appraoched me as a youngin wearing a batman suit i would have let him have his way with me.
You wouldn't have had a choice. He always wins!

[Whacker]

How did i miss that the first time...

[Brenno]

I went back too a chicks house this time last year, and her room had just been painted so was off limits. Her younger brothers bed was the only bed in the house that was not off limits. So we did the deed in her brothers racing car shaped bed.

Best night ever:cool:

[Fapio]

I went back too a chicks house this time last year, and her room had just been painted so was off limits. Her younger brothers bed was the only bed in the house that was not off limits. So we did the deed in her brothers racing car shaped bed.

Best night ever:cool:
What colour was the car bed?

[Mike Oxlong]

BACK ON TOPIC.

I remember I was trying to score points with some chick after I drank a bottle of gin and had a dozen beers. Being a macho tool I decided to tell a slurred story about how i got into a fight with some bloke and I thought I was impressing her. I'm a fairly small lad so she says "you couldn't hurt a fly Daniel!"

After drinking a bottle of gin and numerous beers, I get abit aggressive so I proved my point by headbutting her. She dropped to the floor and I got kicked out of the pub. Felt abit bad about it, but she shouldn't have underestimated the power of my forehead.


LOL, that's taking the "try hitting her' a little too literally

[Power King]

BACK ON TOPIC.

I remember I was trying to score points with some chick after I drank a bottle of gin and had a dozen beers. Being a macho tool I decided to tell a slurred story about how i got into a fight with some bloke and I thought I was impressing her. I'm a fairly small lad so she says "you couldn't hurt a fly Daniel!"

After drinking a bottle of gin and numerous beers, I get abit aggressive so I proved my point by headbutting her. She dropped to the floor and I got kicked out of the pub. Felt abit bad about it, but she shouldn't have underestimated the power of my forehead.

P.s. I loved Grandma's boy, especially when he was stoned and came home and put the spaghetti ect. on a tray in the oven. Then he took the hot tray out with his bare hands and swore his head off. LMAO

Also, the bloke with the lion.:D

Quoted because, well... :o

[Mike Oxlong]

How did i miss that the first time...

after being molested by pedobear for years, he becomes just like another piece of furniture, that fucks your ass

[Brenno]

What colour was the car bed?

Red, with racing stripes :thumbsu:

[onS fo eRep]

I went back too a chicks house this time last year, and her room had just been painted so was off limits. Her younger brothers bed was the only bed in the house that was not off limits. So we did the deed in her brothers racing car shaped bed.

Best night ever:cool:

Noodz plz.

(of the car bed of course)

[Rubber Pants]

Jake

I pretty much created this thread for your benefit so you could have a supportive ear to tell your tales to. I won't judge and we can probably out geek each other with our lameness at picking up chicks.

[Brenno]

Noodz plz.

(of the car bed of course)

I wish i had n00dz of the car bed :(

[rickyp]

I couldnt sleep no matter how pissed i was. I'd just be sittin up going VVVRRRRRRRRMMMMM VRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMM VRRRRRRRRRM holding an imaginary steering wheel.

GOLD! actually laughing out loud

[RoosterLad]

Have you seen Grandma's Boy?

Where the friend (Jeff) has a car bed:



and then Jeff pops out this great line:



That shit is awesome

Hahahahha I thought exactly the same thing! That's a gold movie.

[RoosterLad]

yDXg1q2psCU

[Pigbush]

Way to fucking ruin this guys thread you nimrods.

If I had to read into this too far I'd get the impression maybe you guys still think it's just for pissing out of.

Keep the faith Rubberpants, your first post is a corker.

[Swamp]

If I had to read into this too far I'd get the impression maybe you guys still think it's just for pissing out of.


I have no fucking idea what this sentence means

[Guy Incognito]

I have no fucking idea what this sentence means

Gertrude is into golden showers :thumbsu:

[Swamp]

Gertrude is into golden showers :thumbsu:

He does seem like a fuckstick but its rough to judge after just a dozen posts

[FG]

Piss off, Suzi.

[Pigbush]

I have no fucking idea what this sentence means

Yeah, retards do have trouble understanding things. Study Murrayism101 when recess is over and come back in two weeks tops, otherwise it's a Kannanook bath for you thickhead.

Now where's fatboy?

[Pigbush]

Piss off, Suzi.

D grade insult from a D grade poster.

[Pigbush]

Gertrude is into golden showers :thumbsu:

And scatplay, coprophilia, beastiality etc.

You name it, your mother likes it.

Who am I to deny a woman who's on her hands and knees, begging, begging like a dog for the last scrap of food from your plate?

I am a compassionate man and you should be thanking me.

[FG]

D grade insult from a D grade poster.

The important thing is that you tried.

Go crawl back in your mum's arsehole. Waste of semen, you are.

The best part about you is still dribbling down her legs.

[Swamp]

Yeah, retards do have trouble understanding things. Study Murrayism101 when recess is over and come back in two weeks tops, otherwise it's a Kannanook bath for you thickhead.

Now where's fatboy?

Yep. He's a fuckstick.

Look mate, i don't know what kind of down syndromed, inbred, genital herpes-filled cunty you are but why don't you just fuck off and fuck off right now. Go on, drop as many TLC sayings as you like, every time someone reads one of your posts it's like their brain has been digitally raped by a thousand mutant sea-otters with 15 inch dildo's for fingers. Fuck you.

[Pigbush]

The important thing is that you tried.

Go crawl back in your mum's arsehole. Waste of semen, you are.

The best part about you is still dribbling down her legs.

Oh look, you're channeling yoda and butchering classic quotes from full metal jacket.

I was referring to playing for the woodsmen, which is quite appropriate as you're perpetually in contact with the penis of men.

[emanuel]

how cute, the weenies are trying to strike back

[Pigbush]

Yep. He's a fuckstick.

Look mate, i don't know what kind of down syndromed, inbred, genital herpes-filled cunty you are but why don't you just fuck off and fuck off right now. Go on, drop as many TLC sayings as you like, every time someone reads one of your posts it's like their brain has been digitally raped by a thousand mutant sea-otters with 15 inch dildo's for fingers. Fuck you.

Sea-Otters don't have fingers.

Idiot.

[FG]

Sea-Otters don't have fingers.

Idiot.

Read: "mutant" sea-otters.

Therefore, they've mutated so they have fingers.

Fuckwit.

[Swamp]

Sea-Otters don't have fingers.

Idiot.

Mutant see-otters. These one's have fingers, and 15-inch dildo one's at that.

Fuckstick.

[emanuel]

Read: "mutant" sea-otters.

Therefore, they've mutated so they have fingers.

Fuckwit.

Mutant see-otters. These one's have fingers, and 15-inch dildo one's at that.

Fuckstick.
originality is not your strong point is it? :o

[Pigbush]

Read: "mutant" sea-otters.

Therefore, they've mutated so they have fingers.

Fuckwit.

The addition of fingers classes as a mutation, well I guess then that means your mothers a mutant. Personally I can fit 4 in, but I heard she has taken the whole fist.

[FG]

The addition of fingers classes as a mutation, well I guess then that means your mothers a mutant. Personally I can fit 4 in, but I heard she has taken the whole fist.

On a sea otter, yes, it does. You absolute spanker.

[Swamp]

originality is not your strong point is it? :o

Felt the need to further press the point.

[Pigbush]

On a sea otter, yes, it does. You absolute spanker.

So do they have fingers or Dildos? Because I think Dildos are against the rules when it comes to evolution and mutations. May have to look up Charles Degroots theory of evolution though to double check.

By the way if your right, the addition of Dildos also makes your mum a mutant.

[FG]

So do they have fingers or Dildos? Because I think Dildos are against the rules when it comes to evolution and mutations. May have to look up Charles Degroots theory of evolution though to double check.

By the way if your right, the addition of Dildos also makes your mum a mutant.


Is it not Charles Darwin?

And it's really pathetic that you continue to utilise the "your mum" calls. What are you, six? Go fuck yourself.

[Swamp]

Fuck off Gertrude. Seriously. Just go eat a dick. Get off your computer, go beat off into your mouth, then go to bed. Go headbutt a pencil.

[Pigbush]

Is it not Charles Darwin?

And it's really pathetic that you continue to utilise the "your mum" calls. What are you, six? Go fuck yourself.

lol and mutated sea otters are sophisticated humour.

Too much ninja turtles and samurai pizza cats for you little kids.

[Pigbush]

Fuck off Gertrude. Seriously. Just go eat a dick. Get off your computer, go beat off into your mouth, then go to bed. Go headbutt a pencil.

Can I have this in non retard please? :confused:

[Ljp86]

This is entertaining.

[Admiral Afterworld]

Kirk Van Houten board.

[ashley12]

This thread needs to get back either onto car beds or failed hook-ups...

Anyway, last year me and a few mates organised a day on the piss. It started the night before, watching some of the Oz Open tennis on TV, then sinking beers and getting trashed. Up at 9am for a few more beers and then to the Test Match at the WACA. Watch till the end, (we got beaten:( ) and I got an interview with this Indian bloke who I think was from ESPN. So I got on Indian TV...

One random girl thinks this is cool, and immediately begins making small talk with me on the bus back to mates place, I get phone number and tell her we are going out into Northbridge that night, she should meet up with us there, she agrees and we part ways. Go back to mates place, more beers, (I had spent about $150 already on booze to sneak into the ground and beers at this stage, so I was tanked.

We head into town about 9ish, and decide that the line for the library is to long, and we head to Mustang Bar instead, where there is fuck all of a line. So we go in their for a few hours, im tanked and I run into her. LITERALLY putting her on the floor. I apologies and she says its fine, so I am still in with a chance.

Though the worst thing about this night was that it was the night of the really late Hewitt vs Baghdatis match on tele. I have a bet on the game, and am spending a bit to much time watching it on tele then staring at her tits. We all leave as a group, and begin organising our taxi's etc... I say to wait up, im just going to grab a kebab, (and check the tennis score). I come back, both the groups of my mates are GONE!!!!! And more importantly, she was GONE!!!!

So I decide to get my own taxi, I HAVE NO MONEY!!! My bankcard is gone as well (I left it at home) So I decide to walk back to my mates place, which is in Wilson, which was about a 10km walk. I finally get home, cant find the key to the backdoor, im still pretty wasted, having spent $250 on booze that night. So i slept UNDER A RACE CAR. Yes you can keep your race car beds, because I slept under a race car... Woke up a few hours later, remembered where keys were, walk inside and right there is my mate passed out on the couch, with my root in his arms...

I was shattered...:o

[CATS]

yDXg1q2psCU
Back on topic....that is a fucking sweet car!

Good find Rooster

[ashley12]

Cant believe all the infatuations of people who slept in beds that are like race-cars, when I slept under a race-car that became a bed...

Honestly... I so rad...

[onS fo eRep]

Race car beds >> Race cars

[Power King]

This thread needs to get back either onto car beds or failed hook-ups...

Anyway, last year me and a few mates organised a day on the piss. It started the night before, watching some of the Oz Open tennis on TV, then sinking beers and getting trashed. Up at 9am for a few more beers and then to the Test Match at the WACA. Watch till the end, (we got beaten:( ) and I got an interview with this Indian bloke who I think was from ESPN. So I got on Indian TV...

One random girl thinks this is cool, and immediately begins making small talk with me on the bus back to mates place, I get phone number and tell her we are going out into Northbridge that night, she should meet up with us there, she agrees and we part ways. Go back to mates place, more beers, (I had spent about $150 already on booze to sneak into the ground and beers at this stage, so I was tanked.

We head into town about 9ish, and decide that the line for the library is to long, and we head to Mustang Bar instead, where there is fuck all of a line. So we go in their for a few hours, im tanked and I run into her. LITERALLY putting her on the floor. I apologies and she says its fine, so I am still in with a chance.

Though the worst thing about this night was that it was the night of the really late Hewitt vs Baghdatis match on tele. I have a bet on the game, and am spending a bit to much time watching it on tele then staring at her tits. We all leave as a group, and begin organising our taxi's etc... I say to wait up, im just going to grab a kebab, (and check the tennis score). I come back, both the groups of my mates are GONE!!!!! And more importantly, she was GONE!!!!

So I decide to get my own taxi, I HAVE NO MONEY!!! My bankcard is gone as well (I left it at home) So I decide to walk back to my mates place, which is in Wilson, which was about a 10km walk. I finally get home, cant find the key to the backdoor, im still pretty wasted, having spent $250 on booze that night. So i slept UNDER A RACE CAR. Yes you can keep your race car beds, because I slept under a race car... Woke up a few hours later, remembered where keys were, walk inside and right there is my mate passed out on the couch, with my root in his arms...

I was shattered...:o

oh man he got your root... fkn slut haha oh well cool story

[onS fo eRep]

This thread needs to get back either onto car beds or failed hook-ups...

Anyway, last year me and a few mates organised a day on the piss. It started the night before, watching some of the Oz Open tennis on TV, then sinking beers and getting trashed. Up at 9am for a few more beers and then to the Test Match at the WACA. Watch till the end, (we got beaten:( ) and I got an interview with this Indian bloke who I think was from ESPN. So I got on Indian TV...

One random girl thinks this is cool, and immediately begins making small talk with me on the bus back to mates place, I get phone number and tell her we are going out into Northbridge that night, she should meet up with us there, she agrees and we part ways. Go back to mates place, more beers, (I had spent about $150 already on booze to sneak into the ground and beers at this stage, so I was tanked.

We head into town about 9ish, and decide that the line for the library is to long, and we head to Mustang Bar instead, where there is fuck all of a line. So we go in their for a few hours, im tanked and I run into her. LITERALLY putting her on the floor. I apologies and she says its fine, so I am still in with a chance.

Though the worst thing about this night was that it was the night of the really late Hewitt vs Baghdatis match on tele. I have a bet on the game, and am spending a bit to much time watching it on tele then staring at her tits. We all leave as a group, and begin organising our taxi's etc... I say to wait up, im just going to grab a kebab, (and check the tennis score). I come back, both the groups of my mates are GONE!!!!! And more importantly, she was GONE!!!!

So I decide to get my own taxi, I HAVE NO MONEY!!! My bankcard is gone as well (I left it at home) So I decide to walk back to my mates place, which is in Wilson, which was about a 10km walk. I finally get home, cant find the key to the backdoor, im still pretty wasted, having spent $250 on booze that night. So i slept UNDER A RACE CAR. Yes you can keep your race car beds, because I slept under a race car... Woke up a few hours later, remembered where keys were, walk inside and right there is my mate passed out on the couch, with his root in his arms...

I was shattered...:o

Editted for accuracy...and to rub it in.

[ashley12]

Editted for accuracy...and to rub it in.

:( :( :(

[Swamp]

This thread rocks.

[Whacker]

I called him out on the racecar bed. I feel proud

[CATS]

I miss the race car pic battle - we need more!

[LondonCalling]

Anyone who lives in the outer eastern suburbs may know of this little landmark, but for those who don't, there's a vasectomy clinic out in Vermont South, with a massive sign featuring a thermometer chart showing just how many vasectomys they've done in the last 12 months, and that it could be you (YES! YOU!) that could be next.

Many a time, me and my mate have driven past that sign and had a good laugh at the attempt at making vasectomies the cool thing to do.

One night, we got completely tanked and decided we were going to nick it. So we stumbled out that way, and start drunkenly ripping it off the back fence. Completely as undiscreet as possible, we're stumbling down the road back home with our nicked property, someone's called the cops on us. They start chasing us down a back street with their siren on, my mate runs through a house's backyard, jumps a fence and is long gone.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to run away from cops chasing me, whilst carrying a vasectomy clinic sign that's twice as wide as me. In the end I'm tackled to the ground, and my mate is found a bit up the road.

We both end up in the cells at Box Hill for the night. We're completely shitting ourselves at all these other agro mad bastards pinging off their tree sharing the cell with us.

Before any harm can be done, the owners of the vasectomy clinic are contacted, and apparently it's a regular occurance, so they were pretty cool about it, and are happy to not press charges on the condition that we come back the next day to put the sign back to where it was, and fix their garden that we'd trodden the shit out of. Not a problem.

Get back home about 4am, find my new housemate naked on the couch. She's up for a fuck, and I'm just completely enamoured by her GG cup cans. I pass out in the process, and don't remember shit.

Eventually word gets spread around my mates that I'd ended up spending the night in jail for trying to nick a sign from a vasectomy clinic, and they've all turned up at my joint to see how I ended up. Only to find me in bed with a fatter, fatter, fatter version of Rebel Wilson.

There's only one blot on my copybook. That, however, is a really big one.


* - No, they did not have racing car beds in the cells at Box Hill.

[Whacker]

Racing car beds rock!!!

Andy Mac agrees!!!!

[Geelong_Sicko]

Anyone who lives in the outer eastern suburbs may know of this little landmark, but for those who don't, there's a vasectomy clinic out in Vermont South, with a massive sign featuring a thermometer chart showing just how many vasectomys they've done in the last 12 months, and that it could be you (YES! YOU!) that could be next.

Many a time, me and my mate have driven past that sign and had a good laugh at the attempt at making vasectomies the cool thing to do.

One night, we got completely tanked and decided we were going to nick it. So we stumbled out that way, and start drunkenly ripping it off the back fence. Completely as undiscreet as possible, we're stumbling down the road back home with our nicked property, someone's called the cops on us. They start chasing us down a back street with their siren on, my mate runs through a house's backyard, jumps a fence and is long gone.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to run away from cops chasing me, whilst carrying a vasectomy clinic sign that's twice as wide as me. In the end I'm tackled to the ground, and my mate is found a bit up the road.

We both end up in the cells at Box Hill for the night. We're completely shitting ourselves at all these other agro mad bastards pinging off their tree sharing the cell with us.

Before any harm can be done, the owners of the vasectomy clinic are contacted, and apparently it's a regular occurance, so they were pretty cool about it, and are happy to not press charges on the condition that we come back the next day to put the sign back to where it was, and fix their garden that we'd trodden the shit out of. Not a problem.

Get back home about 4am, find my new housemate naked on the couch. She's up for a fuck, and I'm just completely enamoured by her GG cup cans. I pass out in the process, and don't remember shit.

Eventually word gets spread around my mates that I'd ended up spending the night in jail for trying to nick a sign from a vasectomy clinic, and they've all turned up at my joint to see how I ended up. Only to find me in bed with a fatter, fatter, fatter version of Rebel Wilson.

There's only one blot on my copybook. That, however, is a really big one.


* - No, they did not have racing car beds in the cells at Box Hill.


Me and a few mates have tried that too - we ditched the payload and aborted the mission though when a divvy van spoiled the party. A mate of mine reckons there's some old bitch in a house right near that sign that's on 24/7 sign watch.

Nothing better to do than pester the fucking cops about 'them hooligans', the old cobwebbed cunt.


Sorry you got nailed, brother. Any fights in the lockup?

[The Muddy Number Three]

my little cousin has a racing car bed!!!!one!1ELEVEN!!

It is red and it has shiny stickers on the side mirrors and the wheels dont turn but you can pretend!!1

so awesome...

[Oscar Wilde]

I slept in a train bed... :( I'm still in the industrial age.

[jimmy35]

Well. Haha. Ahhh yes, a mate of mine was at his girlfriends place, who lived with the parents, and theyd had a fair day, and well, they wanted to do it. So, he and she got playful on the couch, but it was unfortunate that neither of them had a dinger on them...
So, the girlfriend wanted him, and suggested a.nal. Of course, my mate jumped at the opportunity, and well, they got down and dirty.

Very dirty. After the deed was done, the girl feels queesy and liquid poop starts dripping out, onto the couch,after the penis was pulled out. Mmmm, the boyfriend not impressed, suggests she cleans it up, and he leaves. All the while, the gf tries to clean it up, mind you, hew bowel still loose.

Anyway, she unsuccessfully tries to get rid of the evidence, but her parents come back and, naturally ask what the fuck went down.

The girlfriend said the dog had a shifty bowel, and that he did it.

A week later, the parents put the dog down.

[Jather Fack]

This thread solves quite a few mysteries for me.

[Kingy]

This thread solves quite a few mysteries for me.

Why your dog got put down?

[Oscar Wilde]

This thread solves quite a few mysteries for me.


Why most of us are sexless losers? (myself included)

[johnnie walker]

Well. Haha. Ahhh yes, a mate of mine was at his girlfriends place, who lived with the parents, and theyd had a fair day, and well, they wanted to do it. So, he and she got playful on the couch, but it was unfortunate that neither of them had a dinger on them...
So, the girlfriend wanted him, and suggested a.nal. Of course, my mate jumped at the opportunity, and well, they got down and dirty.

Very dirty. After the deed was done, the girl feels queesy and liquid poop starts dripping out, onto the couch,after the penis was pulled out. Mmmm, the boyfriend not impressed, suggests she cleans it up, and he leaves. All the while, the gf tries to clean it up, mind you, hew bowel still loose.

Anyway, she unsuccessfully tries to get rid of the evidence, but her parents come back and, naturally ask what the fuck went down.

The girlfriend said the dog had a shifty bowel, and that he did it.

A week later, the parents put the dog down.
I see what you did there, you shifty bastard.

[Geelong_Sicko]

I slept in a train bed... :( I'm still in the industrial age.

:cool: I sleep in a train bed every other Sunday morning! Sometimes Saturday mornings too!!

[Oscar Wilde]

:cool: I sleep in a train bed every other Sunday morning! Sometimes Saturday mornings too!!

Haha comfortable? :thumbsu:

[Geelong_Sicko]

Haha comfortable? :thumbsu:

Usually too drunk to care!

[Oscar Wilde]

Usually too drunk to care!

Thats the way to sleep! :D

[MrStormfront]

hmmmm..what would u do?

-----


From: "Reply to Gumtree Ad
To:
Sent: Tuesday, 17 March, 2009 3:38:22 PM
Subject: Reply to your "hello guys" Ad on Gumtree

You've received the following reply to your "hello guys (http://melbourne.gumtree.com.au/c-Friends-Dating-casual-relationships-girls-seeking-guys-hello-guys-W0QQAdIdZ112158697)" Ad on Gumtree:

sort of. im looking for some guys to get me pregnant.

original message:

From: Hi are u still looking for a guy to play with? very discrete and can send pic upon reply. :) You can respond to by replying to this email

Good luck, and thanks for using Gumtree.
If you find this message as offensive/inappropriate/spam you can Report to Customer Support (http://melbourne.gumtree.com.au/c-ReportReplyEmail?EmailId=177015224)

[CATS]

hmmmm..what would u do?

-----


From: "Reply to Gumtree Ad
To:
Sent: Tuesday, 17 March, 2009 3:38:22 PM
Subject: Reply to your "hello guys" Ad on Gumtree

You've received the following reply to your "hello guys (http://melbourne.gumtree.com.au/c-Friends-Dating-casual-relationships-girls-seeking-guys-hello-guys-W0QQAdIdZ112158697)" Ad on Gumtree:

sort of. im looking for some guys to get me pregnant.

original message:

From: Hi are u still looking for a guy to play with? very discrete and can send pic upon reply. :) You can respond to by replying to this email

Good luck, and thanks for using Gumtree.
If you find this message as offensive/inappropriate/spam you can Report to Customer Support (http://melbourne.gumtree.com.au/c-ReportReplyEmail?EmailId=177015224)
LOL

Make sure once you impregnate her you have no business with the babby. Fuck her senseless and it is a win-win.




However it does seem like a pretty dodgy site you are visiting. Mark her message as offensive saying you are more than just a babby-maker! lol

[jimmy35]

It's a wonderful , free spirited world we live in . Go for it .

[MrStormfront]

LOL

Make sure once you impregnate her you have no business with the babby. Fuck her senseless and it is a win-win.




However it does seem like a pretty dodgy site you are visiting. Mark her message as offensive saying you are more than just a babby-maker! lol

I think its a kinky request..i dont know why she wants random guys to load her up?? read her ad..

and yeah its dodgy but bobs looking for some old wares and stumbled upon the casual relationships section.

[MrStormfront]

It's a wonderful , free spirited world we live in . Go for it .

your wisdom inspires me jimmy.

[jimmy35]

your wisdom inspires me jimmy.



sort of. im looking for some guys to get me pregnant.


That does it for me .

[CATS]

I think its a kinky request..i dont know why she wants random guys to load her up?? read her ad..

and yeah its dodgy but bobs looking for some old wares and stumbled upon the casual relationships section.
LOL - I just read it.

She would probably prefer if you are of different race/background to her husband, so she can prove that she has slept around and created babby with someone else.

i have just found out that me hubby has been cheating on me. so, im going to have my own fun. always wanted to try several guys at once. so, if you are interested please contact me. you must be very discreet, clean (no rubbers) age, looks, size not that important, please send a photo. i plan to do this in about 2 weeks time when he is away for the weekend.

Several guys at once - this could be a game that the whole Melbourne team of TLC could play! :eek:

Plus the no rubbers, lack of age and size requirements should have been a tip off that it wasnt about pleasure! ;)

[MrStormfront]

well i rekon all tlcers should have a crack..i reckon she is some fat filthy bogan slapper.

My god weird request..and no rubbers..might as well advertise for aids:

"i have teh aids, looking for a bumhole to rape..NO CONDOMS..any size looks not important"

[Oscar Wilde]

Thats almost like the Virgins wanted for 20, 000 dollars in America lol.