TLCisms in inappropriate places

[Cletus Van Damme]

Was talking about Lost with some people at work today. One chick groaned and mentioned that her boyfriend had been up until 6am watching it last night. She then asked if we thought she'd like the show to which I responded with,
"Yes, watch it or we'll bash you without a second thought".

LOLS were had by everyone in the room, including the chick I'm gonna bash.

[peternorth]

Was talking about Lost with some people at work today. One chick groaned and mentioned that her boyfriend had been up until 6am watching it last night. She then asked if we thought she'd like the show to which I responded with,
"Yes, watch it or we'll bash you without a second thought".

LOLS were had by everyone in the room, including the chick I'm gonna bash.

pics of said girl?

[Blitzer]

n00dz of said girl?

I think this is surely more appropriate?

[crackers57]

Just got an email from the senior construction engineer with some long winded diatribe about putting together a Schedule of Quantities very "humourously" entitled "Cakes in the Kitchen" (to get your attention).

I replied....TL:DR

[Syd]

Babby daughter has just started saying a few words and when she asked for something the other night "ta" and replied "kank ooh" when she got it I looked at her and said "aren't you a crafty joo".

Mrs Syd was all like, WTF??

[# 28]

Better watch it Syd, the little one will be saying Crafty Joo very shortly :thumbsu:

[Syd]

Even better, the Mrs' family is Lebanese.

They'll love being called 'crafty joo's'. :p

[thegrach]

Jesus Syd, you marry the same chick twice and then marry a lebo. Shits fucked up.

[Syd]

http://shesajerkbutshesright.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/shakira.jpg disagrees.

Guilty as charged on the first bit though. :(
(Must tell the full story one day...)

[thegrach]

Isn't she South American?

[Syd]

Isn't she South American?

I know she sings in Arabic so maybe I've wrongly assumed?

Anyhoos, there is something about the olive skinned Mediteranean women that gets my blood boiling. :thumbsu:

[thegrach]

The dynamite strapped to thier vests?

[Syd]

One hell of a blow job!


PS: She's doing it wrong.

[bogan4life(retired)]

Client asked me how long his project would take to complete, I said "two weeks, tops"

Realised later it would take almost 4 weeks. Rang him back to apologise and I could have sworn he muttered "c***" under his breathe. Should have told him to enjoy his ban.

You know i was of the forums for 2-3 years and during that time i still found myself using the old two weeks, tops. Its fucked when you use a meme then realize no **** will get it

[Uleh]

Agree. Hurley is a big boy who will be giving his opponents Kananook baths within two weeks, tops. He's been hitting the cables over the offseason by the way. Have you seen his rock hard abs?

:thumbsu:

[Admiral Afterworld]

http://www.wrestlingnewsworld.com/specials/tlc.jpg

[Whacker]

My god you fucking suck AA

[T-Bone]

I was reading the netball section of the paper and a girl I worked with asked if I was interested in netball.

I told her no, I'm just tardin like Benny. The look on her face was hilarious.

[wesley]

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?t=742769 Mr Smooth on post 4 Lulz.

[Tex21]

Comment that I was sweating like Fritzl at a family reunion at work yesty got some strange looks

[PowerKat]

Comment that I was sweating like Fritzl at a family reunion at work yesty got some strange looks

Timely bump.

Sent a msg to a guy at work yesterday (office communicator is a beautiful thing)... when Aus were 9 down

me: 9 :(

he: I reckon we're buggerd

me: thanks ben

he: :confused: have you been drinking

[Tommy Lasorda]

:bert:

lolza PK :D

[thegrach]

Timely bump.

Sent a msg to a guy at work yesterday (office communicator is a beautiful thing)... when Aus were 9 down

me: 9 :(

he: I reckon we're buggerd

me: thanks ben

he: :confused: have you been drinking
Nice. Had you been drinking?:D

[PowerKat]

Nice. Had you been drinking?:D


I wish!

[thegrach]

Sounds like you need to develop a work drinking habit PK, could make the office a lot more fun:thumbsu:

[PowerKat]

Sounds like you need to develop a work drinking habit PK, could make the office a lot more fun:thumbsu:

lol - nice idea. I've been there tbh - used to knock a few pints down for lunch a couple of times a week. Can't see myelf getting away with it these days though (in more ways than one).

[Cletus Van Damme]

Timely bump.

Sent a msg to a guy at work yesterday (office communicator is a beautiful thing)... when Aus were 9 down

me: 9 :(

he: I reckon we're buggerd

me: thanks ben

he: :confused: have you been drinking

lulz.

Guy at work was walking around all day with a red clipboard. I almost called him Ben but then stopped myself halfway through the sentence and we just bertstared.

[Syd]

When Mrs Syd starts complaining about anything these days, I simply give her a "it's not always about you Ben".

Usually results in a "what the fuck are you on about" or a simple :bogan:

[Fapio]

I always find myself very close to mentioning s00z and Ben during convos with my mates. I forget that they don't have the same imaginary friends as I

[peternorth]

discussion about who england could bring back for the boxing day test.

i suggested ben hollioake. a few nervous laughs from the boys. i followed up with "he was a bit stiff missing out on this test, would be a good fast bowler".

talk turned to some famous chick. i said id kill her and munt her body. no lulz from mates.

[Tex21]

PN - get some new mates. Those ones are shit. If you can't have a good belly laugh from munting - what can you laugh about?

[peternorth]

PN - get some new mates. Those ones are shit. If you can't have a good belly laugh from munting - what can you laugh about?


they lolled at the holliaoke thing....they also chimed in with a few gems themselves.

give them time....

[Whacker]

Maybe a meeting at gate 3 would bring them around quicker

[peternorth]

Maybe a meeting at gate 3 would bring them around quicker

I was thinking more of a barrel roll, telling them Lisa needs braces, completing a commerce degree then making an appointment at gate 3

[# 28]

I was thinking more of a barrel roll, telling them Lisa needs braces, completing a commerce degree then making an appointment at gate 3
lulz

I'm going try that one out on my dad at christmas lunch.

[mr unrealistic]

Was at the pub the other night and they have one of those plastic dogs to collect money for the blind.

The barman was bringing me back my 10c change and I said "just stick it in the dog - Joel Monaghan Style"

To no response from barstaff nor customers

[Lance Uppercut]

philistines

[Tristagi]

not a TLCism but...

mate: this band is playing next weekend I fucking love them
me: more than Hitler likes killing Jews?
mate: *blank stare*

[Charles Darwin]

not a TLCism but...

mate: this band is playing next weekend I fucking love them
me: more than Hitler likes killing Jews?
mate: *blank stare*

ruffle his hair and say.. "you know.. like Steve Randall loves kids?"

[peternorth]

ruffle his hair and say.. "you know.. like Steve Randall loves kids?"

then adjust transitional lenses.

at the G tonight. told my mate that tait has 2 options:

1. bowl a beamer and knock the cunt out
2. gtfo

not really a tlcism. more a derivative of.

[Syd]

Maybe a meeting at gate 3 would bring them around quicker

Driving through the Blue Mountains the other day I noticed a "Gate 3 Access" sign with 3 blokes standing nearby and wondered what the ruckus was.

[SonOfReep]

People at my work now drop "back in 10" into conversation to signal pleasure with a particular state of affairs. I'm working on introducing "Thanks Ben" into their lexicon

[Burt]

Noticed some cars seem to attract a certain type of driver, e.g.

Nissan Tiida == cunt
Toyota Yaris == cunt

Was harassed by two separate cunts on the Westgate yesterday in completely unfamiliar box-things-with-windows.

Toyota Rukus == cunt

Never seen the damn things before, but owner stereotype is strong.

[SonOfReep]

Toyota Yardz?

[Draconian]

Noticed some cars seem to attract a certain type of driver, e.g.

Nissan Tiida == cunt
Toyota Yaris == cunt

Was harassed by two separate cunts on the Westgate yesterday in completely unfamiliar box-things-with-windows.

Toyota Rukus == cunt

Never seen the damn things before, but owner stereotype is strong.

Great wall == tight cunt

[Burt]

Great wall == tight cunt

Oh come on. Don't say you've never lusted after a HoverPi, or wanted to show off your Wingle to the neighbours.

http://www.gwm.com.cn/en/models.asp

[Guy Incognito]

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20201036#post20201036

wrong audience :(

[Mancey]

fixed!

[Guy Incognito]

I knew I could count on TLC

[Lance Uppercut]

I had to get a scan at the Docs the other day, and they encouraged me to sign a pre-written pamphlet to act as a petition to the government to contribute more money and reduce the gap costs.

At the end of the pamphlet was a blank section where you could add your own comments. I looked at it, thought for a few moments, then shrugged and wrote "use your damn think brain!"

I'm sure the secretary receiving it will just think I'm some kind of mong

[peternorth]

I had to get a scan at the Docs the other day, and they encouraged me to sign a pre-written pamphlet to act as a petition to the government to contribute more money and reduce the gap costs.

At the end of the pamphlet was a blank section where you could add your own comments. I looked at it, thought for a few moments, then shrugged and wrote "use your damn think brain!"

I'm sure the secretary receiving it will just think I'm some kind of mong

if she contacts you regarding the comments tell her n00dz or fuck off

[Ant_]

Internode are flogging a new "Fritz!Box" router.


http://www.internode.on.net/products/fritzbox/

[Mancey]

http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/4161/panny.jpg

[Cletus Van Damme]

ROFL Mancey.

[PowerKat]

ROFL Mancey.

+1


So, a guy from my work who's been around for about 5yrs in various jobs has taken a 6mth+ secondment interstate. He'd been gone for almost 2 weeks (tops) and shoots me an email - just an FYI sorta thing. After a couple of days I sent a reply:

"who the f#@* are you???



;) "

he replied with a 'hahaha', something about needing help working that out... bit of friendly banter... he's coming back for a week next month... let's have a drink with a few ppl... yada yada.

First line of my next reply was "no-one remembers you when you're gone"

[peternorth]

am in china
needed a piss, so off to the dunnys i go
one slot left. took it
proceeded to piss
looked to the left, and right.
thought about jizzing in trouser cuffs
started laughing.
hope the azns didnt look at me

[Mike Love]

Was crossing the railway line at Yarraville station the other day and there was this indigenous bloke , blacker than Relton Roberts sitting on the station platform in the shade . I had the ipod in at the time and said a bit too loud , "brix were shat " .
The young couple with their babby walking infront turned around and the look they gave me was a pisser .

[peternorth]

Was crossing the railway line at Yarraville station the other day and there was this indigenous bloke , blacker than Relton Roberts sitting on the station platform in the shade . I had the ipod in at the time and said a bit too loud , "brix were shat " .
The young couple with their babby walking infront turned around and the look they gave me was a pisser .

but they soon realised you were right, right?

[peternorth]

not solely the property of TLC, but I maliciously stirred the pot on the weekend during a get together with friends...

bunch of us were mulling around my place, including a pair of sisters (no pics, trust me, you wouldnt wanna see them). i mentally recalled the last time i conversated with them, which resulted in an argument between the siblings of WW3 proportions (something trivial and ghey from memory) - cant remember exactly what it was (my think brain isnt working).

anyway, so everyone was involved in a non interesting conversation which was boring me to tears. i decided to spice things up a bit. i said "hey girls remember that argument you guys had a few weeks ago about insert topic here? wonder what everyone here thinks about it". as soon as i hinted the topic my think brain said "i'll just leave this here....discuss".

suffice to say a tarde war restarted and i just left the room

[Latte with one]

Was crossing the railway line at Yarraville station the other day and there was this indigenous bloke , blacker than Relton Roberts sitting on the station platform in the shade . I had the ipod in at the time and said a bit too loud , "brix were shat " .
The young couple with their babby walking infront turned around and the look they gave me was a pisser .

Why did you do that?

[crackers57]

Son's playing COD online with his mates in his room and I can hear him saying....

"You jump off the cliff and blah, blah, blah"

"No, jump off the cliff and blah blah blah"

"NO, jump off the cliff and blah blah blah"

*NO!!!! RYAN YOU JUMP OFF THE CLIFF AND BLAH BLAH BLAH"

So i stuck my head in the door and said: "U mad brah"

[Jather Fack]

'think brain' has become an everyday part of my speech, and is catching on with others. Won't be long and Dennis will say it during the footy.

[Lach72]

'think brain' has become an everyday part of my speech, and is catching on with others. Won't be long and Dennis will say it during the footy.

"The six degrees of Soozeration". :thumbsu:

[Davidson]

'think brain' has become an everyday part of my speech, and is catching on with others. Won't be long and Dennis will say it during the footy.
"Great to see Brad Scott is using his think brain to fine tune North's game plan"

[Tex21]

Not really a TLCism, but during the day before I went to that woeful piece of AIDS that was the Geelong v St. Kilda game last week, my sister introduced me to a bloke she's been seeing. Asked him who he barracks for - "Hawthorn". Instant reaction response

"Cunt".

[Jather Fack]

"Great to see Brad Scott is using his think brain to fine tune North's game plan"

"and Harvey takes the mark 15 out, plays on, oh no! he's been run down and given the free away. North will lose this now and the spoon is theirs. Fair to say Bruce, that he really should have used his think brain and gone back and taken the kick"

[SonOfReep]

"and Harvey takes the mark 15 out, plays on, oh no! he's been run down and given the free away. North will lose this now and the spoon is theirs. Fair to say Bruce, that he really should have used his think brain and gone back and taken the kick"

game plan

[peternorth]

Not really a TLCism, but during the day before I went to that woeful piece of AIDS that was the Geelong v St. Kilda game last week, my sister introduced me to a bloke she's been seeing. Asked him who he barracks for - "Hawthorn". Instant reaction response

"Cunt".


pics of sis?

[Tex21]

pics of sis?
KNew I should have put the *no pics in. She's fat.

[peternorth]

KNew I should have put the *no pics in. She's fat.

is the bloke shes fuckin fat as well? i have a theory that fat ppl only get with fat ppl

[Tex21]

is the bloke shes fuckin fat as well? i have a theory that fat ppl only get with fat ppl
If she's fuckin him, Ima going to have to have 'words' with him. Na, he's a skinny phaggot-personalised number plates too.


Without a second thought

[Hugh Jorgen]

is the bloke shes fuckin fat as well? i have a theory that fat ppl only get with fat ppl

Ben isn't fat :bert:

[Higgs Boson]

Speaking of fat...

That awkward moment when your friend's fat arm makes you look naked:

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a280/HiggsBoson/image001-1.jpg

[peternorth]

If she's fuckin him, Ima going to have to have 'words' with him. Na, he's a skinny phaggot-personalised number plates too.


Without a second thought

Ben isn't fat :bert:

saw a number plate the other day - ASPIE.

wut?

[Jather Fack]

it's an american ski resort pete. pretty good, so i've heard.

[peternorth]

chick i was chatting to the other day said this:

its not fair that guys dont get to feel what its like having something fuck them inside. i think i should fuck a guy up the arse.

me (thinking): at first i was like.....then i was like....

[Lance Uppercut]

chick i was chatting to the other day said this:

its not fair that guys dont get to feel what its like having something fuck them inside. i think i should fuck a guy up the arse.

me (thinking): at first i was like.....then i was like....
wait, wat

Does she think that guys are missing out feeling the magic of being fucked inside, which she'll share by strapping on?

Or does she think it's symptomatic of a patriarchal oppression and she wants to enact revenge and show us what it's like to be the bitch?

Either way, number?

[Captain Sensible]

Speaking of fat...

That awkward moment when your friend's fat arm makes you look naked:

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a280/HiggsBoson/image001-1.jpg



I'll bet the guy behind them is gay but he's in denial about it.

[Swamp]

I'll bet the guy behind them is gay but he's in denial about it.

If you report the post I'm sure syd will delete your pic

[peternorth]

Mate 1: You guys watch the royal wedding? See the maid of honour chick? Left the rest of them “behind” didnt she?

Mate 2: Do you mean pippa?

Me: thanks ben

[peternorth]

mate asks me yesterday - is the netball on (tv) today?
me: dunno i dont watch netball u fag.
mate: (silence)

note: no tlcism here.

[SonOfReep]

mate asks me yesterday - is the netball on (tv) today?
me: dunno i dont watch netball u fag.
mate: (silence)

note: no tlcism here.

Sanks Be n

[Guy Incognito]

Close enought

The text read “Hey mate, as far as I’m concerned I thought we were okay to hook up. She knew who I was and she knew I wasn’t Grammy. I swear on my Dad I wouldn’t never ever (sic) do that, go another girl! You have to believe me I took off because I thought I was harsh (sic) done by. I’m not the type and if I wanted to I could’ve been with some other girl if needed. I feel terrible for her but I’m not the type! I don’t know what else I…”.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/my-girlfriends-been-raped-by-a-st-kilda-player-20110715-1hh7e.html#ixzz1SAQsgHOX

[Charles Darwin]

Talking about applying for FIFO jobs over dinner a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about preferred rosters and I found myself saying "two weeks, tops". :(

[Hobby Farmer]

8/6 days then 6/6 nights seems to be getting popular. Plenty of fat ugly chicks to sink your teeth into, Chaz. ;)

[Charles Darwin]

Not going anywhere near Gero.

[Mofra]

Not going anywhere near Gero.
If only there was some sort of TLC meme that we could use at this juncture :confused:

[Hobby Farmer]

Not going anywhere near Gero.

You wouldn't last 10 seconds, anyway. Pity, some of the girls are right up your alley.......many a Sunset Beach slapper that fit (LOL) your taste.
If only there was some sort of TLC meme that we could use at this juncture :confused:

Maybe a cheese pizza and a 2km walk will help you think of one.:thumbsu:

[Charles Darwin]

Met a bloke last night who plays masters footy (footy for old cunts) and was telling me about some of the ex AFL players that are playing at that level. As soon as he mentioned Shaun Smith...

"How about that mark he took at the Gabba?"

[Tex21]

Met a bloke last night who plays masters footy (footy for old cunts) and was telling me about some of the ex AFL players that are playing at that level. As soon as he mentioned Shaun Smith...

"How about that mark he took at the Gabba?"
He ded? Clinton Grybas never mentioned it.


Vale the big Irishman.

[Mancey]

In doggies looking for a coach thread on BF


I saw a great post from a Dogs fan on their board wishing there was a third Scott twin. That's exactly what they need.

Maybe they could go with one of their cousins

[Syd]

New bosses owners son works here and is named Ben.

Have to stop myself from laughing when he does something and I say thanks :bert:

[Curtis Stone]

Roger has a kid?

[Syd]

Roger has a kid?

New boss, not previous owner.

And do chooks count?

[Curtis Stone]

And do chooks count?

How high do you need them to count to? :bert:

[Swamp]

SO badly want to put gabba reference here (http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?t=862443)

[Burt]

You're a cunt. Really.

[Swamp]

u mad burt?

[resting]

not surprising from u, swampie.

[peternorth]

SO badly want to put gabba reference here (http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?t=862443)

ur going to hell cunt muscle.

me too cause i lol'd

[Burt]

u mad burt?

Yes, because I worked in a wonderful one-liner about Brisbane wearing black armbands this weekend at the Gabba, as a mark of solidarity with the Sydney team.

Then I looked at it again, and realized how cunty it really was, and did a ninja edit.

[Kent Muscle]

ur going to hell cunt muscle.

me too cause i lol'd

Fantastic word and is underutilised imo.

[HouseHusband]

Mitch Hahn retirement thread got a "Ill never forget the mark he took at the gabba"

[Captain Sensible]

Driving my son home from school today and the topic turned to Greek mythology. I said that it was a shame the Greeks still didnt have a panthoen of Gods, he said "Stupid Greek Orthodox church and their belief in one supreme being" and I said "Soniamnotdisappoint". He looked at me and said "Hey! It's not my fault"

[Captain Sensible]

Mitch Hahn retirement thread got a "Ill never forget the mark he took at the gabba"


Did you mention how we went back and missed the goal from 15 metres out from the resultant kick?

[Picko99]

Told the stepdaughter to use her think brain the other night...She was slightly confused when I burst out laughing afterwards

[peternorth]

Told the stepdaughter to use her think brain the other night...She was slightly confused when I burst out laughing afterwards

ample opportunities to post pics and yet...

[Picko99]

ample opportunities to post pics and yet...

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd11/picko99/BC3-1.gif

[HouseHusband]

I say "use your think brain" in every day talk and most of my mates now say it as well

[Latte with one]

I used disgrace not even reel during conversation the other day. :thumbsu:

[resting]

did anyone get the fishing reference, ben?

[Latte with one]

did anyone get the fishing reference, ben?

No, didn't say anything about fishing.

[resting]

but you wrote reel in your post, ben. I thought it was a clever way to reference fishing.

[peternorth]

I used disgrace not even reel during conversation the other day. :thumbsu:

did anyone get the fishing reference, ben?

No, didn't say anything about fishing.

but you wrote reel in your post, ben. I thought it was a clever way to reference fishing.

had to read twice. but yes. reel.

[Jather Fack]

maybe it was surf lifesaving. They use reels in that, don't they?

[Higgs Boson]

I used disgrace not even reel during conversation the other day. :thumbsu:

What was the response?? I'm waiting with baited breath.

[HouseHusband]

I bet you caught a couple with that line ben

[Mofra]

He knows how to lure em in does Ben

[Jather Fack]

can't youse bastards come up with another line?

[peternorth]

cmon ben, you're getting flakey

[Swamp]

What did Erin's pussy smell like Ben?

[HouseHusband]

What did Erin's pussy smell like Ben?
Hey thats uncalled for his trying to tuna his life around after that girl broke his heart

[peternorth]

heard ben and erin had a whale of a time

[Burt]

He sat around like a stunned mullet when she left. :(

[Mofra]

But now he's breamming with confidence

[Mancey]

Erin broke up with Ben because he was always trying to grouper

[pepe]

Always said she was a scaly bitch

[Jather Fack]

that's one school of thought.

[Swamp]

U should post pics of her snapper ben

[Burt]

Ben seems to have clammed up.

[Mofra]

Talkign about his ex flower's love muscle will do that.

Once he gets over it he'll be brine

[Jather Fack]

Talkign about his ex flower's love mussel will do that.

Once he gets over it he'll be brine

efa. Now come on, how could you miss that?

[Mofra]

In a meeting this morning discussion possible compliance options ot recommend to close an investigation report. Almost blurted out "send them a fart MMS". Giggled to myself.

Everyone was wondering what the fuck I was doing.

[Mancey]

Lol who was this in the rising star chat dealio

13:03


[Comment From Suzi Olsen Suzi Olsen: ]
Swallow will win it by a mile, use your think brains people.

[Mancey]

Kudos to Serena for chucking out a "i thought this was america" this morning

[peternorth]

Kudos to Serena for chucking out a "i thought this was america" this morning

she probably thought she was playing the hawaiin open.

also lol'd at her calling the ump unattractive (on the inside).

[pepe]

Sooze in the comments again..:thumbsu:

http://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/afl/brisbane-lions-fight-to-keep-mitch-clark-from-leaving-for-fremantle/story-e6frg1xu-1226143660864



Comments on this story



Cousin Suze Posted at 8:15 PM Today Mitch would be a welcome addition to the Dockers formidable line up. The missing piece of the premiership jigsaw. I'll never forget that mark he took at the Gabba !

Jon Posted at 7:39 PM Today how very arrogant and very short sighted dockers fans are! Tell me, do you really think freo will let brisbane get nothing and allow clark to go into the draft??? Remember melbourne clubs, GWS and BRISBANE all have picks in the draft before freo or the eagles. The lions will simply redraft him whether he likes it or not. Therefore, the lions can be as greedy as they like if freo really do want him, otherwise they can just redraft him! wake up froe fans!!!!

Mavbeam of Tapping (Dockers member) Posted at 7:38 PM Today There are some players that need to lift their game like Chris Mayne, Michael Johnson, Dylan Roberton...happy to trade 1 or 2 of these. I think we really need a full forward to complete our team once everyone is fit.

[Lance Uppercut]

Lance Uppercut
hey I've just realised I didn't post that status update yesterday, but I'm still getting free Facebook! Weird....
Like · · 37 minutes ago

Matt Magee it was all bullshit mate as usual!hoax!
about a minute ago · Like

Lance Uppercut Thanks ben :bert:
A few seconds ago · Like

duh....

[Guy Incognito]

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22487969#post22487969

:D

[SonOfReep]

Lulzed

[HouseHusband]

Business partner (who is a Mexican) is trying to explain to me the best way to work out if the person has been taken out money with out telling us and I replied with a "Thanks Ben"

Without even stopping he said "my name is not Ben, its Chav?"

[resting]

is this business partner related to kruzin?

[HouseHusband]

Nah bro he got more rep

[Mofra]

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22487969#post22487969

:D
Just under it:

I think Heath Shaw used to post under the id: soho

(More one for the punting board followerS)

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Business partner (who is a Mexican) is trying to explain to me the best way to work out if the person has been taken out money with out telling us and I replied with a "Thanks Ben"

Without even stopping he said "my name is not Ben, its Chav?"


I "Thanks Ben"d my daughter yesterday when we were talking about something or other. Then it took me ages to explain the "Thanks Ben"

[HouseHusband]

I "Thanks Ben"d my daughter yesterday when we were talking about something or other. Then it took me ages to explain the "Thanks Ben"


"Daddy are you back on the drugs?"

[Syd]

I "Thanks Ben"d my daughter yesterday when we were talking about something or other. Then it took me ages to explain the "Thanks Ben"

I give my wife the occassional 'thanks Ben' and she's now past the WTF stage and throws the odd 'thanks Ben' back my way!

FML.

[peternorth]

I give my wife the occassional 'thanks Ben' and she's now past the WTF stage and throws the odd 'thanks Ben' back my way!

FML.

can you youtube this?

[Draconian]

Helping the oldest with homework is littered with "use your thinkbrain".

[Ant_]

I give my wife the occassional 'thanks Ben' and she's now past the WTF stage and throws the odd 'thanks Ben' back my way!

FML.

My missues has read most of the Sooz stuff and knows the Thanks Ben etc.

[Davidson]

My missues has read most of the Sooz stuff and knows the Thanks Ben etc.
I'll be managing a new business which is opening in a couple of weeks. Was speaking to a supplier today who asked when we'd be opening, I hit back with a "two weeks, tops...".

One of the girls I work with who is about as smart as a dog turd asked me as the wind was blowing a gale outside: "should I go put down and put away the umbrellas from out the front...?" to which I said "Of course you should, you can see they'll probably break if they stay out there much longer...start using your think brain...". This was followed by a 6-8 second blank look by said girl. I then had to remind her to get the fuck outside and put the umbrellas away.


*no pics.

[Kent Muscle]

*no pics.

Just put fake ones up again. I won't mind as long as they're hawt.

[Two Dogs Fucking]

"Daddy are you back on the drugs?"


I'm still choosing not to Boges.:thumbsu:


My missues has read most of the Sooz stuff and knows the Thanks Ben etc.

I reckon my ex missus might tell me to start using my thinkbrain if I let my 10YO daughter read TLC to get a better context for a 'Thanks Ben'.

[Tex21]

I reckon my ex missus might tell me to start using my thinkbrain if I let my 10YO daughter read TLC to get a better context for a 'Thanks Ben'.

Then you can try hitting her.

[resting]

I'll be managing a new business which is opening in a couple of weeks. Was speaking to a supplier today who asked when we'd be opening, I hit back with a "two weeks, tops...".

One of the girls I work with who is about as smart as a dog turd asked me as the wind was blowing a gale outside: "should I go put down and put away the umbrellas from out the front...?" to which I said "Of course you should, you can see they'll probably break if they stay out there much longer...start using your think brain...". This was followed by a 6-8 second blank look by said girl. I then had to remind her to get the fuck outside and put the umbrellas away.


*no pics.


what kind of new business would a 22 year old be managing? an illegal business?

[Burt]

I was managing a computer shop when I was 22.

[Curtis Stone]

Strong troll.

No such thing as computers back then.

[Charles Darwin]

I'm still choosing not to Boges.:thumbsu:

.


Doo eeeeeeet.

[Burt]

Strong troll.

No such thing as computers back then.

Feh.

Sold Amigas (when they weren't suffering Guru Meditation errors), Amstrad PC1512s and PC1640s, Amstrad CPC464/6128s, and a genuine AT clone made by Cleveland in Brisbane, that had a fantastic 1.5MB of memory and a 12MB hard disk and an amber monochrome CRT monitor.

Correction of detail: didn't actually sell a Cleveland, it was $6500. Too much for our customers.

Though a couple of years later I did sell an Amstrad 2386 with colour VGA monitor to some rich buggers because their son "needed a computer" for his homework. That was a nice $10k with the printer and 2400baud modem.

[resting]

and look at you know, posting on tlc. Guess ur not so big now.

[Davidson]

what kind of new business would a 22 year old be managing? an illegal business?
Nope, not illegal. It's a 100% legitimate business that will be highly profitable and successful.* Don't hate that I'm 22yo and doing something with my life, Rest. It's the 21st century; not uncommon for people in their early-mid 20s to manage businesses.


*inbeforeyeahthatswhateveryonethinkstheirbusinesswillbelike

[crackers57]

Nope, not illegal. It's a 100% legitimate business that will be highly profitable and successful.* Don't hate that I'm 22yo and doing something with my life, Rest. It's the 21st century; not uncommon for people in their early-mid 20s to manage businesses.


*inbeforeyeahthatswhateveryonethinkstheirbusinesswillbelike

Not sure broccoli smoothies are going to be that popular Davo ;)

[Mofra]

Not sure broccoli smoothies are going to be that popular Davo ;)
You clearly are unfamiliar with the Fitzroy demographic*



* Only talking about bio-dynamic organic broccoli smoothies

[crackers57]

You clearly are unfamiliar with the Fitzroy demographic*



* Only talking about bio-dynamic organic broccoli smoothies

Clearly http://www.emoticonsite.net/images/smilies/emoticons_smilies_8.gif

[Davidson]

Not sure broccoli smoothies are going to be that popular Davo ;)

You'd be surprised, Crack :D So many cider drinking, phaggy clothes wearing, broccoli smoothie loving people around these parts.

[crackers57]

You'd be surprised, Crack :D So many cider drinking, phaggy clothes wearing, broccoli smoothie loving people around these parts.

*sigh* I'm glad my time on this earth in nearly done

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Doo eeeeeeet.


Nah. I've skipped forward to the end of the story and seen how it ends. Too many times.

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Then you can try hitting her.


Daughter or the ex?

If someone hit my daughter I'd reach down their throat, pull their fucking heart out and nail it to their genitalia. My ex I couldnt care enough about to worry.

[crackers57]

Nah. I've skipped forward to the end of the story and seen how it ends. Too many times.

Are you a ghost?

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Are you a ghost?


I've been close to being one a few times. I took that Who lyric about wanting to be dead by thrity a little too seriously.

[resting]

Daughter or the ex?

If someone hit my daughter I'd reach down their throat, pull their fucking heart out and nail it to their genitalia. My ex I couldnt care enough about to worry.

You have a special set of skills?

[resting]

Nope, not illegal. It's a 100% legitimate business that will be highly profitable and successful.* Don't hate that I'm 22yo and doing something with my life, Rest. It's the 21st century; not uncommon for people in their early-mid 20s to manage businesses.
*inbeforeyeahthatswhateveryonethinkstheirbusinesswillbelike

I bet its a very illegal business, davo. Because you are the type of person that would run an illegal business. You also steal candy from babies.

[Swamp]

Mike Oxlong had a funny comment on cricinfo the other day, but i was on my phone and now I can't find the article. The dude lives.

[Tex21]

Daughter or the ex?

If someone hit my daughter I'd reach down their throat, pull their fucking heart out and nail it to their genitalia. My ex I couldnt care enough about to worry.

Give me a little credit. Of course the ex.

Daughter needs several yabby seasons from memory

[Jather Fack]

Give me a little credit. Of course the ex.

Daughter needs several yabby seasons from memory

what, with St Kilda, Hawthorn and Richmond?

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Give me a little credit. Of course the ex.

Daughter needs several yabby seasons from memory


Many yabby seasons, yes. I'll be explaining to the first few spotty little oiks that take her out that he and I will finish the night with exactly what he gets up to with her during the night. So when he drops her home I'll either be giving him an affectionate peck on the cheek or I'll be bending him over the kitchen table. It'll be his choice...

[Curtis Stone]

Many yabby seasons, yes. I'll be explaining to the first few spotty little oiks that take her out that he and I will finish the night with exactly what he gets up to with her during the night. So when he drops her home I'll either be giving him an affectionate peck on the cheek or I'll be bending him over the kitchen table. It'll be his choice...

Too bad if he's up for it.

Should make for a memorable family moment. :thumbsu:

[Burt]

and look at you know, posting on tlc. Guess ur not so big now.

I know. Life sucks.

Just spent the last hour checking a quote for a $1.6M system to be installed in Sydney. Would have been nice to have been involved earlier in the project than the Friday night before the order goes in, but there you go.

Why the red? Umad? :bert:

[peternorth]

was explaining the benefits of cam4 etc to friends last night. casually dropped in "shoe on head"*. many of them (all) had looks of bewilderment. some asked wtf was with "shit on head". seriously.





* when i said shoe on head a rather large person on the next table looked at me. boges, where were you last night?

[Grach Incognito]

Many yabby seasons, yes. I'll be explaining to the first few spotty little oiks that take her out that he and I will finish the night with exactly what he gets up to with her during the night. So when he drops her home I'll either be giving him an affectionate peck on the cheek or I'll be bending him over the kitchen table. It'll be his choice...
Vale Peter Roebuck.

[Tex21]

Asked a friend about dress code for her 21st. "Races".


WTF? I am not a horse

[Curtis Stone]

Asked a friend about dress code for her 21st. "Races".


WTF? I am not a horse

Should dress up as an abo or something and then tell her you misunderstood she meant thoroughbreds.

[Tex21]

Should dress up as an abo or something and then tell her you misunderstood she meant thoroughbreds.

That's even better than my original plan of wearing a horse mask and saddle, making a cunt out of myself and leaving within an hour

[Grach Incognito]

The big news here is that you have breathed fresh air at some point recently...

[Tex21]

I go outside. I just don't talk to people. Though I have had two social outings in a week. Both obligatory though

[Curtis Stone]

Thanks Jake.

[Tex21]

Thanks Jake.

I wish I was that cool

[Grach Incognito]

In the exercise yard?

[Tex21]

In the exercise yard?

Wut?

[crackers57]

Four walls, washbasin, prison bed

[Tex21]

Four walls, washbasin, prison bed

I never knew such luxury

[I Love The West Coast Eagles!]

Fuck you cunts.

I told the daughter to use her think brain tonight.:(

Her look said it all.

[Incontinet Rob]

I seem to say fuckhead and fuckwit more than what I used to for some reason.

[Burt]

That's even better than my original plan of wearing a horse mask and saddle, making a cunt out of myself and leaving within an hour

http://www.sorodz.com/tails/foal1L.jpg

You forgot this to complete the ensemble.

[I Love The West Coast Eagles!]

That is just so wrong that it is beyond words.

Where can you buy it?

[peternorth]

That is just so wrong that it is beyond words.

Where can you buy it?

is it because its not black?

[I Love The West Coast Eagles!]

is it because its not black?

No. Because it's not big enough.

Wut!

[crackers57]

Was at my young bloke's basketball this afternoon and the ex was waffling on about some shit. I wasn't taking much notice as I was watching the game and i suddenly realised that she had stopped talking and was looking at me with that "well?" look on her face. "Shit', I thought...."she wants me to say something".

All I had was....."Cool story, Hansel"

[I Love The West Coast Eagles!]

LOL:D

And how many seconds later did she slap you?

[Tex21]

As long as you didn't get trapped into the "yes" answer you're sweet

[crackers57]

LOL:D

And how many seconds later did she slap you?

Hahahahaha Nah, I got a WTF look followed by some head shaking

[I Love The West Coast Eagles!]

Hahahahaha Nah, I got a WTF look followed by some head shaking


Your ex is a man?

[crackers57]

Your ex is a man?

No, just a woman that knows me too well and gave up a long time ago :D

TBH we're better friends now than we were in the last couple of years together.

[I Love The West Coast Eagles!]

Your real name is Gretel then?

[Guy Incognito]

soniamdisappoint (http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showpost.php?p=22847910&postcount=12)

[HouseHusband]

Padded up to bat with the rain on the way and mate told me to use my think brain and got the slap, I was kinda worried he was secretly a tlc'er until I remembered I probably say it 10-20 times a day

[Burt]

Chick at work* talking about her husband rushing home and sitting all night tapping away on stupid bloody forums baiting people and getting into real shitfights with religious fundamentalists etc.

Dropped bf and tlc into the convo but she acted dumb. Any of you likely candidates?

* Yes the one who called an Indian taxi driver a fuckstick, very loudly. Second favourite saying is, "Did I say that out loud?"

[crackers57]

Chick at work* talking about her husband rushing home and sitting all night tapping away on stupid bloody forums baiting people and getting into real shitfights with religious fundamentalists etc.

Dropped bf and tlc into the convo but she acted dumb. Any of you likely candidates?

* Yes the one who called an Indian taxi driver a fuckstick, very loudly. Second favourite saying is, "Did I say that out loud?"

If it was someone just fucking her then it may have been me, but husband? Nup :cool:

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Too bad if he's up for it.

Should make for a memorable family moment. :thumbsu:


I am a very attractive man. Maybe I should rethink this policy?

[Ricketts]

Off the Cricinfo text commentary:

"This is the 7th time since 2001 that West Indies have had 3 different century partnerships in an innings. One more and it's a national record." Thanks Ben

[Mofra]

Coles, buying lunch. Go to the deli section to buy some salad, the guy hands me the tub and says "here it is" (well thanks captain obvious).

I look at his nametag.

His name is Ben.

It had to be done :)

[Big Simmo]

Fuck you cunts.

I told the daughter to use her think brain tonight.:(

Her look said it all.

I have my (almost) 10 & 12 year old boys fully conversant in the term "use your think brain"

I kind of figured it gets me half way when they start needing to be warned about using the other brain.

Especially as Master 11 triumphantly announced the other night that he had asked a girl in his class if she would like to go out with him & she has said yes !

I did pose the question "where are you going to go" and his answer of the movies came back a little too fast.
I reminded him, that he was allowed to hold her hand, but isn't allowed to kiss her, which got a rapid fire " how come" ?

So I shot back, if you aren't nice to her she will dump you, and when he said "when?" all I could manage was 'two weeks, tops' before doubling over laughing.


Mrs Simmo (bereft of humor as she is*) didn't seem to see the funny side of any of it, and Simmo junior cracked the shits with me....







* This used to be a fun house, but now it's full of evil clowns......

[peternorth]

I have my (almost) 10 & 12 year old boys fully conversant in the term "use your think brain"

I kind of figured it gets me half way when they start needing to be warned about using the other brain.

Especially as Master 11 triumphantly announced the other night that he had asked a girl in his class if she would like to go out with him & she has said yes !

I did pose the question "where are you going to go" and his answer of the movies came back a little too fast.
I reminded him, that he was allowed to hold her hand, but isn't allowed to kiss her, which got a rapid fire " how come" ?

So I shot back, if you aren't nice to her she will dump you, and when he said "when?" all I could manage was 'two weeks, tops' before doubling over laughing.


Mrs Simmo (bereft of humor as she is*) didn't seem to see the funny side of any of it, and Simmo junior cracked the shits with me....







* This used to be a fun house, but now it's full of evil clowns......

will he go the hole in popcorn box trick?

[Syd]

Was at my young bloke's basketball this afternoon and the ex ....

Stop the fucking bus.
You talk to your ex!!! :eek:

[Swamp]

Protip: don't try the pop corn trick, blow, forget about it and start eating the popcorn again later.

[peternorth]

Protip: don't try the pop corn trick, blow, forget about it and start eating the popcorn again later.

personal experience swampy?

[Swamp]

My other account is dmc

[crackers57]

Stop the fucking bus.
You talk to your ex!!! :eek:

Yeah mate........when she doesn't arse rape you for all you got then I can't see any reason not to ;)

[pepe]

Yeah mate........when she doesn't arse rape you for all you got then I can't see any reason not to ;)


Do you get to throw one into her every now and then for old time sake ? ;)

[crackers57]

Do you get to throw one into her every now and then for old time sake ? ;)

Fuck no, she's remarried.......although doing it just to piss her cockhead husband off would lulz worthy :D

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Stop the fucking bus.
You talk to your ex!!! :eek:


I still talk to my ex. We have to discuss things about the kids and who is going to pay (usually her) for stuff they want/need and when I will pay her back.

[crackers57]

I still talk to my ex. We have to discuss things about the kids and who is going to pay (usually her) for stuff they want/need and when I will pay her back.

That's pretty much the deal with me too, TDF.

The truth is we're better friends now than we were for the last couple of years we were together

[Lach72]

That's pretty much the deal with me too, TDF.

The truth is we're better friends now than we were for the last couple of years we were together

Syd's head just assploded

[Higgs Boson]

Off the Cricinfo text commentary:

Really?

(yeh yeh cue :bert: )

[satellite]

come on satelltikes time for a shower

"horsey ride, horsey ride"

then on hands and knees

what the? I am not a horse

3/4 people in the room wondering why dad is laughing on the floor

[Syd]

Syd's head just assploded

Not fucking wrong.

Personal experience has taught me that talking to your ex is the first step on the road to re-marrying it! :(

[crackers57]

Not fucking wrong.

Personal experience has taught me that talking to your ex is the first step on the road to re-marrying it! :(

LOL Oh no, that's never going to happen.......apart from the fact she is already remarried I'm having way too much fun with life the way it is. ;)

[Syd]

.......apart from the fact she is already remarried .....

So's mine now, but I'm not taking any chances.

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Not fucking wrong.

Personal experience has taught me that talking to your ex is the first step on the road to re-marrying it! :(


Aint gonna happen. I doubt I'll ever get married again.


That's pretty much the deal with me too, TDF.

The truth is we're better friends now than we were for the last couple of years we were together


I wouldnt say we were friends. I wouldnt say we hated each other either. It's more a pragmatic thing we do for the sake of the kids.

[Syd]

Aint gonna happen. I doubt I'll ever get married again.

Sounds eerily familiar.



I wouldnt say we were friends. I wouldnt say we hated each other either. It's more a pragmatic thing we do for the sake of the kids.

Benefits of kids being 28 and 25 (shortly).

No need to talk to the silly bitch anymore. :thumbsu:

[jumper]

Benefits of kids being 28 and 25 (shortly). :thumbsu:

pics?

[Syd]

pics?

No. :cool:

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Sounds eerily familiar.


NEVER!





Benefits of kids being 28 and 25 (shortly).

No need to talk to the silly bitch anymore. :thumbsu:


I should actually be emailing/ringing/texting her now. TLS is much more fun* though.







*And sensible.

[Two Dogs Fucking]

Went to a christmas function last night with the kids. Parked the car and said "Let's go" when Twopups tells me he hasnt got his shoes on. Not only hasnt got his shoes on but had left them at home. When he knew we were going out. He was wearing socks though. I could understand barefeet or wearing shoes and socks but who the fuck just wears socks?

Anyway on the drive home to get his shoes he was reminded to use his Think Brain several times.

[Jather Fack]

sounds like a troll to me.

[Charles Darwin]

No. :cool:

Too old anyway.

[Tex21]

Doing some research for a paper I'm writing in my spare time today, and need to grab a few random SLA (statistical local area) profiles from the ABS.

Choose Geraldton.

Paper won't last 10 seconds.

[Mancey]

Don't often post on the bay, but...

"Champ's on the board."
http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m29/Joe_Cabrera_2006/Sale%20of%20the%20Century%20Pictures/Snapshot2007-11-1215-10-45.jpg



Murray is giving them all a bath

[Lance Uppercut]

lol!

[PowerKat]

haha awesome!

[Guy Incognito]

Looks like Gary Hocking changed his name again

[peternorth]

is angela man or woman?

[PowerKat]

on the port board

obviously not all would come from the phone drive. You'd be (really) lucky to get 10 per day doing outbound calling (as an educated guesstimate - you have to connect, and get a +ve outcome). So, say we had half a dozen callers = 60/day = 120 in two days, tops.

hardly worth posting that - thread should be closed after Mancey's win

[Mancey]

I just want to know what your opinion is on spray tans kat? Thread popped up in my BF updates, clicked, blocked...so i'm guessing it was ladies lounge.

You'd be supportive of them yes? :D

[Lance Uppercut]

Just before this morning's antenatal classes the wife told me she needed to pee. She must have wondered why I had a big stupid grin on my face as I told her I was sure the maternity nurses would be understanding of her needs and wants

[Swamp]

I started a thread abou a BF mod on the suggestions board. Was all above board though so I doubt it will cause an issue.

[SonOfReep]

I would check it out but I am banned from the board, sorry for my lots

[PowerKat]

I just want to know what your opinion is on spray tans kat? Thread popped up in my BF updates, clicked, blocked...so i'm guessing it was ladies lounge.

You'd be supportive of them yes? :D

I don't need them but don't begrudge those that do - when it's done properly :)

[pickman]

Apparently TLCisms are now inappropriate on TLC :(

[Banana Republican]

The karma bus has arrived and everyone who posts on here needs to be super careful of what it is they are talking about when on any forum.
All of us that post have a right to post up our opinions about what has happened in this world. If it involves other people and they happen to post on that same forum be careful.
You know why there is an dickhead file up on here. It's to catch out what other people are saying. They might be nice people which is fine but it is what they say that can put them in the dickhead file. It helps them to stop posting up the wrong stuff and so that they don't become personal attacks.