I nearly swallowed a load

[dmc333]

As I may have mentioned here before, my fap juice is usually shot into a cup of water left on my computer desk and later tipped down the sink.

I usually keep a cup of water beside my bed if I wake up and need a drink.

Soooo. I wake up roasting hot, I'd left the heater on in the bedroom and I've got a mouth like menopause. I Reach across, empty cup. Then I see a cup on my computer desk, it's lit up like the star of galilee, with my router lights flashing behind it.

It must be a sign. I grogily scramble across the bed, lift the cup and find it full.

Glug Glug glu.... WTF is that slimy shit in my mouth?

Then it hit me! Half the monster load I dropped to Hanna Hilton's floppy titties last night, was in my mouth. I spit it back into the cup, but I'd already ingested some.

Do I have the ghey? I don't feel ghey, but maybe the swimmers take time to swim to your brain and flip the gay switch.

I'm scared.

Should I ring kids helpline?

[Legend]

Your fucked.

[gangsta deluxe]

Get hammered and start crying.

[# 28]

Should I ring kids helpline?

Yes quickly, they can provide a ghey antidote

[thegrach]

Once you have had a load in your mouth dmc you might as well give the hetro game away. Sorry for your lots.

[dmc333]

Once you have had a load in your mouth dmc you might as well give the hetro game away. Sorry for your lots.

What about water dilution?

[thegrach]

What about water dilution?
No different to sucking a guy off in a pool matey. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

[gangsta deluxe]

Gay dilution is still gay. I should know. I'm planning to have sex with your father. Get him all lubed up and shit, literally.

[Jack Frost]

Raging homo

[peternorth]

wait wait wait wait. hang on. wtf do you jizz into a cup?

anyway, ring lifeline and get help

but then again, if its good enough for stiffler then....

[crackers57]

May as well book your spot on a float for the Mardi Gras, DMC

[crackalackin']

It's simple really.


Congrats, you're now a poof.


Get rid of the Viv & Beefy aviator, and find something with anal beads and rainbows on it.

[peternorth]

give dale a call

http://halfbackflanker.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/dale-thomas.jpg

[burny]

How the fuck do you jizz into a cup full of water? You can't tip the cup over the top of your cock to catch the jizz! You would have to stand over the cup with your cock pointing painfully down or aim with precision to get the cup to catch it on the way down.

Either that or you have poor exit velocity?

Your story made me gag either way.

[peternorth]

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/16/youregay.jpg

[Curtis Stone]

You're ghey and fucked.

Babby to be formed shortly.

[Jack Frost]

http://s.mynicespace.com/myspacepic/433/43336.jpg

[dmc333]

The Cup is the greatest load receptacle known to man, until you swallow the contents.

When finished (usually) you just tip the water down the sink. No stinky hankies left laying around.

You fap to the point of load busting stage, then you get out of your chair, grab the cup in your left hand and wank it down into the cup, makes a good spash depending on the power you've built up.

And you never end up with any on your hand, in your eye or all over yourself.

Was a perfect system until last night.

[peternorth]

The Cup is the greatest load receptacle known to man, until you swallow the contents.

When finished (usually) you just tip the water down the sink. No stinky hanky's left laying around.

You fap to the point of load busting stage, then you get out of your chair, grab the cup in your left hand and wank it down into the cup, makes a good spash depending on the power you've built up.

And you never end up with any on your hand, in your eye or all over yourself.

Was a perfect system until last night.

VALE CUP CUM

[Mancey]

Perfect systems don't result in you swallowing your own spoonta tho mate.

Airships filled with flammable hydrogen was a "good system" until all those poor krauts got bbq'ed

[Curtis Stone]

The Cup is the greatest load receptacle known to man, until you swallow the contents.

When finished (usually) you just tip the water down the sink. No stinky hanky's left laying around.

You fap to the point of load busting stage, then you get out of your chair, grab the cup in your left hand and wank it down into the cup, makes a good spash depending on the power you've built up.

And you never end up with any on your hand, in your eye or all over yourself.

Was a perfect system until last night.

No way.

You can't leave the position you are in to expel the load. Completely upsets and ruins the fap sequence.

You stay as you are (e.g. lying on bed on your side from start to finish).

Any diversion from this and you're doing it wrong.

As for the cup, you still need to wipe the excess of your dick, so you're complicating a very simple process here.

Feel penis, cup hand, tissues, *zwoar*, wipe off, finished. Oh, then repeat.

[dmc333]

No different to pulling it out and spraying it on her guts. You sometimes need to change positions for that.

What you do is use the old boy like a tube of toothpaste at the end and squeeze the rest out, then wipe the dribbles off onto the inside of the rim.

I know some of you guys will try to deny it, but I know curiosity will get the best of you and you'll be testing this system out next time the urge arises. ;)

[Dr Andy]

don't listen to these faggots dmc, they're not doctors.



my diagnosis of your spermazootoom ingesting is that you are gay

[Banana Republican]

your gay
your going to get mouth pregnant
your going to have mouth aidz
your going to give birth to gay babys from your mouth

you cant undo the gay

buy lube
say good bye to pussy

[dmc333]

http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A8368/83688/300_83688.jpg


I guess I've fucked the joint.

Fred Phelps will be here soon to protest the TLC because of my ghey.

[Suspense]

The fact that you were fapping to straight pron says that you're at least bi, like a Megan Fox.

[dmc333]

The fact that you were fapping to straight pron says that you're at least bi, like a Megan Fox.

http://photos.freeones.com/v_various/Twistys/Hanna_Hilton_004/

Ftw! NSFW

[crackers57]

The fact that you were fapping to straight pron says that you're at least bi, like a Megan Fox.

I suspect he may have been focussing on mutiple penii though :cool:

[burny]

Hanna Hilton is fantastic. She's one of my new favs.

[Swamp]

Fuck me DMC, you ate your own cum

You are such a fag

Gay gay gay gay gay

[_JC_]

http://i139.photobucket.com/albums/q291/my-peeps/gay.jpg

[bigburger]

I read in a Zoo mag or something over 30% people have tried their own cum. Weird science.

[crackalackin']

I read in a Zoo mag or something over 30% people have tried their own cum. Weird science.

Well, it must be true if it's in Zoo...

[bigburger]

Well, it must be true if it's in Zoo...
Nah its not cause it wasn't posted on TLC. O wait.

[gangsta deluxe]

You wanna sing this with me DMC?

BsVRMYRIigU

[peternorth]

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/9455/91871397.jpg

[pepe]

As long as you didn't kiss yourself afterwards

[burny]

Well, it must be true if it's in Zoo...
Seems like it's not that uncommon (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090506225819AALjV8t).

[peternorth]

As long as you didn't kiss yourself afterwards

question, is it gay if you DONT swallow?

[crackalackin']

question, is it gay if you DONT swallow?

Yes pete, you're gay too...

[pepe]

Hmmm, unable to answer that for fear of incriminating myself..:D

[bigburger]

Seems like it's not that uncommon (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090506225819AALjV8t).

LOL at the guy at the bottom who actually recommends trying it. Fucken queer cuntloads.

[Jather Fack]

Hey Guyth

[crackers57]

Hmmm, unable to answer that for fear of incriminating myself..:D

Wut?

Have you had a dash at DMC's cum cup too?

[Dr Andy]

Parallelothread Thursday? That has a certain ring to it. Gonna be bloody hard to keep up with though. Might need a central thread in case things get out of hand.

i noticed you're quoting posts, but from now on i'm not going to quote, i'm just going to reply. more lulz that way.

[dmc333]

I read in a Zoo mag or something over 30% people have tried their own cum. Weird science.

Own up, fags. Or I'll have to start making random accusations. ;)

Zoo is a respected journal of some note.

Those going after me are already under suspicion of being in the closet, Larry Craig style. :o

[pepe]

Wut?

Have you had a dash at DMC's cum cup too?


No, nooo, well not unless he slipped some into the toothbrush cup.

[Cath]

Did you at least make a feeble attempt to throw it up afterwards?

If not, gayer than Tess I'm afraid!

[peternorth]

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.
I got cum in my tummy,
And I feel like a-lovin you:
Love, you're such a sweet thing,
Good enough to eat thing
And that's just a-what I'm gonna do.
Ooh love, to taste ya,
Ooh love, to lick ya,
Ooh love, I love it so.
Ooh love, you're sweeter,
Sweeter than sugar.
Ooh love, I wont let you go.

[# 28]

Are you angry at yourself for not swallowing the whole load?

Did you spit it out with vigour?
Do you lament your actions now?
Do you wish you could turn back time and swallow?

Some many questions and only one load!

[PowerFat]

I have swallowed heaps of my cum kissing girls and licking theirs arses after I have loaded them up...

All good IMO.

[Swamp]

http://i509.photobucket.com/albums/s332/Peggasusss/dmc.jpg

[peternorth]

^^^^^

hahaha the jizz dripping from his mouth is LULZ!

[thegrach]

Every second this is not in the Shower of Gold is an insult to Allah!

[dmc333]

That's lulz :D

[Kingy]

I have swallowed heaps of my cum kissing girls and licking theirs arses after I have loaded them up...

All good IMO.

Hrm.

This bump has introduced me to Hannah Hilton, I hope she does hardcaw.

[Rondo]

She does.

[_JC_]

Every second this is not in the Shower of Gold is an insult to Allah!

If it doesn;t go into shower of gold Syd, i'll put a jihad on you

[Syd]

Every second this is not in the Shower of Gold is an insult to Allah!

If it doesn;t go into shower of gold Syd, i'll put a jihad on you

Bugger Allah and your Jihad.

But I'll move it here anyways because this thread represents everything beautiful about TLC. ;)

[jimmy35]

Every second this is not in the Shower of Gold is an insult to Allah!

Bugger Allah and your Jihad.

But I'll move it here anyways because this thread represents everything beautiful about TLC. ;)



I agree. In theory. Quality stuff but it can tend to die in here.


As opposed to the thriving main board I mean.

[PowerKat]

I agree. In theory. Quality stuff but it can tend to die in here.


As opposed to the thriving main board I mean.

Have to agree when it comes to 'active' threads (I use the term loosely), such as the facebook one.

IMO the Shower is a place for golden threads to be moved, once they had reached the end of their natural 'life'. A place for people to go and relive the 'highlights', rather than an 'active' board.

[FarQue]

Glug Glug glu.... WTF is that slimy shit in my mouth?

Then it hit me! Half the monster load I dropped to Hanna Hilton's floppy titties last night, was in my mouth. I spit it back into the cup, but I'd already ingested some.Haha brilliant.

When I started masturbating at about 14-15 I used to have a drawer full of old socks. Instead of shooting my load into the dunny, I'd just unroll a pair of socks, blow on them and then fold them back into the drawer.

One day my mum comes running into my room, starts going through my 'old sock drawer' and says "your dad has no clean socks..ah thought you might hav...never mind"

Every pair had been loaded up at some stage, were as stiff as cement sheet, stained and stuck together.

At one stage, I also had a towel under my bed that would have been worth at least $7000 at the sperm bank.

[peternorth]

what happened to just using tissues, or better still the face/mouth of your mrs?

[Syd]

^^ This ^^


Although I consider it a sacred duty to ensure that every hotel room is left with soiled sheets, even if it means internet pr0n inspired as opposed to having your partner accompany you on a business trip.

Fap to the left, sleep on the right. :thumbsu:

[Diverbelow]

At one stage, I also had a towel under my bed that would have been worth at least $7000 at the sperm bank.

Ha = I used to have a towel in the back seat of my car for when I was entertaining the young ladies. Jeezus it stunk after a few months - went all crusty and glued together. Ah what sweet mammaries.........

[peternorth]

^^ This ^^


Although I consider it a sacred duty to ensure that every hotel room is left with soiled sheets, even if it means internet pr0n inspired as opposed to having your partner accompany you on a business trip.

Fap to the left, sleep on the right. :thumbsu:

can see it now. a syd created thread titled "i nearly slept on a load"

[mudkipz (ded)]

Ha = I used to have a towel in the back seat of my car for when I was entertaining the young ladies. Jeezus it stunk after a few months - went all crusty and glued together. Ah what sweet mammaries.........

You sat out the front of primary schools when the bell went and fapped as children walked past your car?



GIVE THIS MAN A MODSHIP

[Diverbelow]

You sat out the front of primary schools when the bell went and fapped as children walked past your car?



GIVE THIS MAN A MODSHIP


Hah - not quite - 17 years olds from year 12. Plenty of girls on a Friday night after attending church youth group. True story - those girls needed me to teach them right from wrong and the church youth group was the prime spot for local talent on show.

Even one of the pastors from one of those gospel shouting religions was banging the 18 year old sister of a chick I was banging.

[jimmy35]

Have to agree when it comes to 'active' threads (I use the term loosely), such as the facebook one.

IMO the Shower is a place for golden threads to be moved, once they had reached the end of their natural 'life'. A place for people to go and relive the 'highlights', rather than an 'active' board.





Agree

[dmc333]

I don't know how this thread got bumped on the exact week.

I didn't want to admit to it, but it happened again. :(

[Rondo]

Hahah, well I asked about the story, so the thread got bumped. Pl0x describe new story in detail.

[dmc333]

Hahah, well I asked about the story, so the thread got bumped. Pl0x describe new story in detail.

It's kinda identical to the first one. Except I was just sitting at my computer this time. Obviously busted a load recently, but not recent enough for me to remember what was in the cup.

Glug... WTF why does this water taste slimey? OH FFS! SPIT FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

[Swamp]

how the fuck could you not learn your lesson the first time?

[peternorth]

how the fuck could you not learn your lesson the first time?

maybe he enjoys his own salty goodness

[_JC_]

how the fuck could you not learn your lesson the first time?

Pretty sure his facade of heteroness crumbles a little bit every time he ingests jizz. Soon the full blown homo DMC will be out for all the world to see.

[mudkipz (ded)]

More importantly why would you not empty it straight away instead of sitting at the computer with cum floating around in a cup of water

[Swamp]

More unanswered questions in this thread than a standard suzi lie

[crackers57]

Wasn't it Mardi Gras weekend, DMC?

[_JC_]

It seems the insistence of the cup of water as the cum receptacle of choice is looking more and more foolish.

[Syd]

how the fuck could you not learn your lesson the first time?

Once you pop, you can't stop.

[dmc333]

I'm convinced it's my extreme laziness and not my extreme homoness as to why it keeps happening.

[bigpapagman]

You are gayer than Christmas.

[peternorth]

You are gayer than Christmas.

someone needs to ungay this thread

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e29/tonyblue/Christmas_Girls_12242006105244AM284.jpg

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/2082/77817004.jpg

[Tommy Lasorda]

It's simple really.


Congrats, you're now a poof.


Get rid of the Viv & Beefy aviator, and find something with anal beads and rainbows on it.

I agree with this smart fellow

[dmc333]

I'm wanking into a condom now.

Hopefully I don't tie it up, put it on my night stand, wake up the next morning and mistake it for my chewing gum.

[peternorth]

I'm wanking into a condom now.

Hopefully I don't tie it up, put it on my night stand, wake up the next morning and mistake it for my chewing gum.

hopefully u dont mistake the dinga for a calypso and squeeze the jizz out of it into your waiting mouth.


wait, didnt someone (ben) once say his jizz collects in his navel?

[Hooley McBoob]

I have swallowed heaps of my cum kissing girls and licking theirs arses after I have loaded them up...

All good IMO.

Awesome. It's a nice surprise when a guy kisses you after you've swallowed his load.

[thegrach]

I'd prefer to tongue your arse!

[peternorth]

I'd prefer to tongue your arse!

with or without ur own cum?

[thegrach]

Without would be my preference, but funny things happen in the heat of the moment.

[FarQue]

Awesome. It's a nice surprise when a guy kisses you after you've swallowed his load.Women have told me this over the years. Could never bring myself to do it. I have a theory it's because women feel a bit slutty after swallowing, and the guy kissing them helps their anti-slut defence system cope.

[Hooley McBoob]

Lol maybe it is that, although even if we don't swallow a bit will still be in our mouths. I thought it was because guys just wouldn't like to taste their own brand.

[FarQue]

Nah not a fan of home brew :D

[Hugh Jorgen]

Without would be my preference, but funny things happen in the heat of the moment.

Tlg_Zb67qFE /AA

[_JC_]

Without would be my preference, but funny things happen in the heat of the moment.

Like drinking a cupfull of jizz?

[Rondo]

I'm wanking into a condom now.
aka Having a 'rich man'.

[Curtis Stone]

Awesome. It's a nice surprise when a guy kisses you after you've swallowed his load.

Might be for you.

[Cletus Van Damme]

Awesome. It's a nice surprise when a guy kisses you after you've swallowed his load.

0BeB0cDr3R0

[jimmy35]

Nah not a fan of home brew :D


Better taste after she's had half a dozen takeaways?

[Jack Frost]

Awesome. It's a nice surprise when a guy kisses you after you've swallowed his load.


How about fuck no

[Syd]

Better taste after she's had half a dozen takeaways?

Reminds me of when my former sister in law (dirty little slut) came to stay with us in Georgia.

She went out with one of my mates from our unit and ended up getting plowed by 2 blokes in a hotel room before the 3rd bloke, a young midwestern virgin boy went in for his turn.

Came out afterwards grinning from ear to ear proclaiming to his mates how pleased he was to finally have eaten some pussy!

They rofl'ed themselves to the point of pissing themselves and took great joy in regailing the entire unit with the story of how young Blake had eaten their jizz. :p

Everyone called him General Custard after that.

[thegrach]

Pics of sister in law?

[Syd]

Doubt she's gonna give me permission, and I wouldn't dream of posting someone's pic without that.

Wasn't bad, short, cute and for her height, big tits.

[thegrach]

And loved multiple cocks. Winner!

[PowerKat]

Doubt she's gonna give me permission, and I wouldn't dream of posting someone's pic without that.

Wasn't bad, short, cute and for her height, big tits.

since when does height determine tit size. They're not made 'to scale' :p

[Tommy Lasorda]

They're not made 'to scale' :p

No, unfortunately.... :(

[Jack Frost]

since when does height determine tit size. They're not made 'to scale' :p


The right amount of money can fix it :)

[peternorth]

Pics of sister in law?

Doubt she's gonna give me permission, and I wouldn't dream of posting someone's pic without that.

Wasn't bad, short, cute and for her height, big tits.

so you havent asked yet?

[Syd]

since when does height determine tit size. They're not made 'to scale' :p

Kinda disagree.

34C's on a 6-foot glam look average.
Whack 'em on a 4'10" blond and they appear impressive indeed.

[peternorth]

Kinda disagree.

34C's on a 6-foot glam look average.
Whack 'em on a 4'10" blond and they appear impressive indeed.

i'm not really a word type person. i find illustrations work best.

[Syd]

i'm not really a word type person. i find illustrations work best.

Get a midget to hold a couple of rockmelons up then.

Proportionately about right.

[PowerKat]

Kinda disagree.

34C's on a 6-foot glam look average.
Whack 'em on a 4'10" blond and they appear impressive indeed.

well, if you'd posted a pic it would've all made sense

[Banana Republican]

Lol maybe it is that, although even if we don't swallow a bit will still be in our mouths. I thought it was because guys just wouldn't like to taste their own brand.
Do you think they would prefer someone else's brand?
Only one way to test this theory

[FarQue]

I was at a dinner party few weeks back and the subject of cum came up. One of the woman said "I refuse to let that stuff go anywhere near my face or mouth. Have you ever noticed it smells like White King ewwwww"

Had to laugh because she had an obvious mo that was in need of bleaching.

[Curtis Stone]

I was at a dinner party few weeks back and the subject of cum came up. One of the woman said "I refuse to let that stuff go anywhere near my face or mouth. Have you ever noticed it smells like White King ewwwww"

Had to laugh because she had an obvious mo that was in need of bleaching.

LOL's, yeah it does smell like bleach alright.

That 'woman' however, really has no purpose on Earth. No point her being here. No role to play. :thumbsd:

[FarQue]

LOL's, yeah it does smell like bleach alright.

That 'woman' however, really has no purpose on Earth. No point her being here. No role to play. :thumbsd:Her dad should have just hit her in the head and sold the powdered milk. Instead, she's grown into a man hating dyke* who tells straight women what they should and shouldn't be putting in their mouths. I hope her lesbian lover has a smelly box.







*a rumor I started after her rant

[fryingpan]

Haven't we all tasted our own cum at some stage in our lives?

[Swamp]

panny do you just search for the words 'load', 'cock' and 'anal feltching' and reply to very thread that comes up?

[dmc333]

Glad my loads are still in your hearts and minds. :thumbsu:

[fryingpan]

panny do you just search for the words 'load', 'cock' and 'anal feltching' and reply to very thread that comes up?

No, I just thought everyone has tasted their own cum at some point.

[peternorth]

thanks ben

[Football God]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn196/mazman223/DFGERG.jpg

[Mr Walker]

failedimageupload.jpg

[Football God]

failedimageupload.jpg
Hate it when that happens.
reuploaded, see how long that lasts :thumbsu:

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn196/mazman223/DFGERG-1.jpg

[Mr Walker]

haha well worth the trouble.

[mudkipz (ded)]

still failing, use imageshack brosef

[Rondo]

cuntsfucked.jpg

[mudkipz (ded)]

flamingalah.gif

[Rondo]

*************** gon be swole.

[mudkipz (ded)]

swole or ded lulz

[Histrionics]

*********** gon be swole.

Hahaha fuck that's some funny shit.

So many haters kipz.

[mudkipz (ded)]

strong hate