Whinging Poms + 12th man and Physio vs Australia - 2nd Test Lords July 16th – July 20

[yssup_MasTr]

Second Test begins tomorrow at Lords. Australia haven't lost since 1934 at this venue and I cant see this changing.

Freddie Flintoff has announced that he will retire from test cricket after this series.

Likely teams:

Australia probable XI:

Phillip Hughes
Simon Katich
Ricky Ponting
Michael Hussey
Michael Clarke
Marcus North
Brad Haddin
Mitchell Johnson
Nathan Hauritz
Peter Siddle
Ben Hilfenhaus


England Squad:

Andrew Strauss
Alastair Cook
Ravi Bopara
Kevin Pietersen
Ian Bell
Paul Collingwood
Andrew Flintoff
Matt Prior+
Stuart Broad
Graeme Swann
James Anderson
Monty Panesar
Graeme Onions
Steve Harmison

[Cletus Van Damme]

Aussies by rape choke.

[thegrach]

Nice title, 3 votes.

[PowerKat]

lol @ Flintorf announcing his retirement now in some pathetic attempt to get his side to 'win it for him'.

[Mancey]

Worked well for Steve Waugh in the Indian series a few summers back

[thegrach]

Also for McGill when he retired. Has gone on to bigger things.

[Bobby Buttrill]

I can't believe what an incredible comentator McGill makes. He makes me want to pad up and join the boys. Inspirational stuff.

[peternorth]

macgil comes across as a sex offender. he has dem crazy beady eyes.

[peternorth]

title edited for accuracy (had to shorted the title)

[peternorth]

i do feel the slope at lords will play a significant part tonight.

all hail

http://static.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/47900/47909.jpg

[RoosterLad]

Time to stop fucking around Aussies and beat those pommy fucks.

Flintoff - an average player declared a legend by England's third world standards - will get a nightmare send off.

[Jather Fack]

even the poms reckon the poms were out of line.

[RoosterLad]

Nasser called the England team a bunch of diving wogs I believe.

[peternorth]

time for siddle to decapitate some of these poofs.

[T-Bone]

I want to see Flintoff and that other wank Pietersen go down with series ending injuries

[pickman]

Onions must be pickled pink to be playing against Australia in an Ashes test at Lords :thumbsu:

[Ron]

So we are going to bowl, hopefully we get a wicket nice and early as i have come cash on Aussies getting the highest opening partnership.

[Cletus Van Damme]

Nasser called the England team a bunch of diving wogs I believe.

I read that too. I actually like Nasser as a commentator. He's got a good sense of humour which i didn't expect and likes to take the piss out of Beefy.

[Hugh Jorgen]

Nice if Punter could win a fucking toss one of these days. Would have much rather been batting first on this pitch.

I can't believe what an incredible comentator McGill makes. He makes me want to pad up and join the boys. Inspirational stuff.

Is that so you can get away from hearing him commentate?

In fairness Stuey looks to have improved slightly from the first test. Not that he could have got much worse.

We've got Warney commentating now anyway.:thumbsu:

[Kingy]

Fuck me this is a flat opening.

Warney in the box was right, as usual; why aren't we bowling at their heads and abusing them, giving them a bit of verbal?

Fucking fire up damnit!!

And Mitch is still struggling.... still think Clark should've come in for Hauritz.

[pickman]

Agree Kingy, the bowlers are hardly threarening atm.

Mitch had better get his shit together, if not we'll fly his mum over and get her to give him a tongue lashing :thumbsu:

[Kingy]

Seeing MacDonald on the field, even as 12th man, pisses me off. Fucking ranga!!

Picko99, flat as a tack mate; Warney was right, again; too much stuff two feet outside off, no reason for the batsmen to play at it.

[Travyo]

Warney is never wrong.

[pickman]

Warney is never wrong.

Except when he told Simone he'd never cheat on her again :p

[pickman]

Damien Martyn is allegedly answering people's questions on the SBS website atm. I think a mass visit from TLC is in order :thumbsu:

http://www.sbs.com.au/ashes/blogs/view/id/111187/t/LIVE-chat-with-Damien-Martyn/

[Kingy]

Except when he told Simone he'd never cheat on her again :p

She took him back again just now :)

Fuck he's a legend.

[pickman]

Ficking hell, Mitch is bowling like a reject for a Zimbabwean pub side.

This is rubbish :mad:

[Kingy]

Ficking hell, Mitch is bowling like a reject for a Zimbabwean pub side.

This is rubbish :mad:

Those last two balls from Siddle show why Clark should've been picked - it's doing fuck all through the air, but the slope of the pitch does allow for some seam movement.

[yssup_MasTr]

0-100

[pickman]

0-100

LAME :mad: *







* the score, not your post

[yssup_MasTr]

When was the last fucking time the Poms got an opening partnership of a 100

[Mancey]

She took him back again just now :)

Who could resist?

Fuck just got home and watched siddle bowl the worst over in history.

Bowl Straight you carnts

[pickman]

Fuck just got home and watched siddle bowl the worst over in history.

The things is Mancey, Mitch has be worse, much, much worse :(

[Hugh Jorgen]

What a fucking shithouse start. MJ opened up the pie shop and now Hauritz & Siddle getting smashed as well.

Need to get Warney out of the commentary box and on to the field.

[yssup_MasTr]

0-126 at Lunch Marto apprently not happy with some of the questions being e-mailed

[Hugh Jorgen]

When was the last fucking time the Poms got an opening partnership of a 100

Probably the last test when Anderson & Broad opened the bowling.

[pickman]

0-126 at Lunch Marto apprently not happy with some of the questions being e-mailed

Tell me about it, so much for live chat. About one of approximately 10 comments/questions from me actually appeared. Ironically it was one where I pwned Marto for saying that Dirk Nannes could push for an test spot (correct me if I'm wrong but by playing for Holland in the T20 WC make Nannes ineligable to play for Australia)

[Kingy]

Yea, I asked him half a dozen, one got through, then I sent him one telling to him to stop being a prick and stonewalling me.

[pickman]

Yea, I asked him half a dozen, one got through, then I sent him one telling to him to stop being a prick and stonewalling me.

Maybe Marto's jealous that Mo has a dedicated thread on TLC and he doesn't :thumbsd:

[yssup_MasTr]

send the link of the thread in a comment lol

were probs the only people e-mailing sbs i think stuey wants e-mails as well

[peternorth]

FUCK THIS IS SHIT

FUCK U JOHNSON U R SHIT

[pickman]

Well that first over after lunch was much better :thumbsu:

And I just saw Hauritz get a little bit of turn :eek:

[yssup_MasTr]

FUCKING NO-BALL AND DROP CATCH OFF THE ONE BALL FUCKING HELL YOU STUPID TASMANIAN AND NSW FARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[pickman]

FUCKING NO-BALL AND DROP CATCH OFF THE ONE BALL FUCKING HELL YOU STUPID TASMANIAN AND NSW FARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

What he said :mad:

[dmc333]

This means they rush Brett Lee back in.

[peternorth]

This means they rush Brett Lee back in.

fuckin hope now. get clark in now. oh too late.

[Hugh Jorgen]

That will teach you for dropping a fucking catch Hauritz, you useless cunt.

At least that gets a proper off spinner like Northy on now.

[Jather Fack]

well, i've been watching the footy show and this is no good what's going on in the cricket, need more tasmanians in the team imo.

[peternorth]

bad haddin is back.

shit throw perhaps

[Mancey]

This is like watching the Bangladeshi second XI

[Hugh Jorgen]

Dan Marsh might get a call up with Hauritz injured.

They could do worse. In fact they already have, they picked Hauritz to start with.

[Jather Fack]

well this is just going from shit to shitter.

[peternorth]

about fuckin time

[Mancey]

I think the fact the ball was actually on the stumps surprised the fuck out of him.

[Hugh Jorgen]

Fucking typical, as soon as I switch over to watch the Footy Show we get a wicket and I miss it.

[Jather Fack]

i missed it coz i was watching paul mcartney on the david letterman show.

[Cletus Van Damme]

Fuck off Bopara and go back to being an extra on Goodness Gracious Me!

[Kingy]

well, i've been watching the footy show and this is no good what's going on in the cricket, need more tasmanians in the team imo.

Fucking oath.

Drop a fucking catch, and injured yourself as well at the same time? Way to fuck your own team over twice!!

Hilfy strikes, getting some nice swing.

Johnson has completely lost his mojo; what the hell has happened to him?

Fuck off Bopara you terrorist ****.

Keep Hilfy on, he's swinging it like a bad boy.

[Jather Fack]

where is Geeves these days?

[Jather Fack]

Fuck off Nasser, of course Hilf meant it

[thegrach]

6-364 is a lot better than it could have been. Hoepfully a couple more cheap wickets tomorrow and we can have them all out for 400ish. The wicket actually looks like a batsmans paradise, should eclipse out Cardiff score here.

[dmc333]

well, i've been watching the footy show and this is no good what's going on in the cricket, need more tasmanians in the team imo.

Danny Buckingham might be available.

I saw Bucky recently, surprisingly hasn't gone much over his playing weight.

[peternorth]

This is like watching the Bangladeshi second XI

or even the windies first xi

6-364 is a lot better than it could have been. Hoepfully a couple more cheap wickets tomorrow and we can have them all out for 400ish. The wicket actually looks like a batsmans paradise, should eclipse out Cardiff score here.

get strauss out early and clean up the tail. we can let them dictate terms like their first innings in cardiff.

fuckin hell johnson wtf happened to you? u caught teh ghey bowling disease and it spread to siddle for a bit. luckily the victorian said fuck this shit and bowled decently later on.

foxsports lead story wasnt how shit johnno was or how much poo we were in, it was that hauritz the shit did his finger. fuck him.

[PowerKat]

So we are going to bowl, hopefully we get a wicket nice and early as i have come cash on Aussies getting the highest opening partnership.

oopsies :D

Fuck me this is a flat opening.

Warney in the box was right, as usual; why aren't we bowling at their heads and abusing them, giving them a bit of verbal?

Fucking fire up damnit!!

And Mitch is still struggling.... still think Clark should've come in for Hauritz.

What has pissed me right off is how much the Aussies are smiling and laughing. It's not the time to be having a lovely fun time out there! Get fucking angry and aggressive ffs. Fuck.

Fucking typical, as soon as I switch over to watch the Footy Show we get a wicket and I miss it.

You should have switched over much earlier :p

.

Johnson has completely lost his mojo; what the hell has happened to him?



He's obvs missing his mummy :o

[Kingy]

Good edit PK ;)

Great fightback by the lads - Hilfenhaus inspired; what a gun that bloke is.

Siddle back on track, Johnson actually looking half decent again late in the day.

Need to roll them quickly this time, but they should be miles in front considering the start they had, and the lacklustre nature of the pitch.

[yssup_MasTr]

Ronnie do you have faith in Hughes and Katich to get a opening partnership of 200, how much money did you have on it?

[Hugh Jorgen]

Good edit PK ;)

Great fightback by the lads - Hilfenhaus inspired; what a gun that bloke is.

Siddle back on track, Johnson actually looking half decent again late in the day.

Need to roll them quickly this time, but they should be miles in front considering the start they had, and the lacklustre nature of the pitch.

Yeah great effort to finish with 6 wickets after that shithouse start. The Hilf was definitely the pick of the bowlers, MJ did well to get a couple of wickets but is still a worry with the new ball.

If we can keep the Poms to around 400 we might still be a chance for the win. Although I heard there's some rain forecast for the next couple of days so wouldn't surprise me if it's another draw.

[peternorth]

What has pissed me right off is how much the Aussies are smiling and laughing. It's not the time to be having a lovely fun time out there! Get fucking angry and aggressive ffs. Fuck.


and to think lee isnt even playing! :eek:

[Kingy]

We'll win or draw; weather depedent; this is a 500+ first innings pitch.

I'm sick of international cricket being played on roads; don't they realise that people who love Test Cricket aren't interested in a T20 style slogfest, we want to see a tight, hard contest between bat and ball.

Need some pitches with life for the seamers and the spinners - nothing better than watching a class bowler like McGrath or Clark hammering a line and length where the ball moves off the pitch; and then seeing a good batsman knuckle down at the other end and fight and graft his way to a decent score.

[bigburger]

I actually think we won that day. Considering what could have been.

[bigburger]

We'll win or draw; weather depedent; this is a 500+ first innings pitch.

I'm sick of international cricket being played on roads; don't they realise that people who love Test Cricket aren't interested in a T20 style slogfest, we want to see a tight, hard contest between bat and ball.

Need some pitches with life for the seamers and the spinners - nothing better than watching a class bowler like McGrath or Clark hammering a line and length where the ball moves off the pitch; and then seeing a good batsman knuckle down at the other end and fight and graft his way to a decent score.

Totally agree. I wish every pitch in test cricket was the same as Adelaides.

[Cletus Van Damme]

Hilfenhaus you fucking ripper!!!

[Kingy]

HILF = Hilfenhaus I'd like to fuck.

HILF > MILF

What a unit - Tasmanians are rad!

[Cletus Van Damme]

ANOTHER ONE HILF!!!

I just came.

[Kingy]

ANOTHER ONE HILF!!!

I just came.

I'm feeling a penis; but not going to allow myself to ejaculate unless the Hilf gets a five-for.

[pickman]

I'm feeling a penis; but not going to allow myself to ejaculate unless the Hilf gets a five-for.

Well keep your jizz in your balls, Mitch (finally) got the last wicket.

And according to Warney it appears that Australian for "well played" is cunt

[Kingy]

Well keep your jizz in your balls, Mitch (finally) got the last wicket.

And according to Warney it appears that Australian for "well played" is cunt

Warney would know ;)

[pickman]

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT PHIL HUGHES????? :mad:

Go join Mitch Johnson in the corner with a big pointy dunce hat :thumbsd: :thumbsd:

[Kingy]

Fucking woeful shot :(

[pickman]

Question for my esteemed TLCer's. Have any of you heard, let alone used the term "necktie music" in reference to short pitched bowling?

[Kingy]

Question for my esteemed TLCer's. Have any of you heard, let alone used the term "necktie music" in reference to short pitched bowling?

Only just then - not sure about it, but I like Holding, so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

[Kingy]

Come on Huss, we need you mate.

[Kingy]

Fuck you Rudy you dumb ****!!

[dmc333]

That was one fucker of a catch by Broad.

Pitty Katich the beast had to leave for it.

Faggy Clarke in :thumbsd:

[dmc333]

Always rely on Michael Clarke when the chips are down. Fucking cunt.

[Kingy]

Always rely on Michael Clarke when the chips are down. Fucking cunt.

Peter North is going to blow the fuck up... and rightly so.


Punter got fucked over by Rudy, the senile old ****.

Hughes needs to stop believing he's got a problem with short balls - because he doesn't, but the Poms have made him think he does, so he's playing dumb shots.

Kato, dumb shot to get out to when we needed his stability and grit in there.

Huss - what the fuck mate; your a gun at leaving the right balls, but what the hell was that? You've seen a few other players (Strauss this morning!) get knocked over in the exact same fashion - why throw your wicket away like that?! We just lost the Kat, needed to consolidate.

Clarke - I really don't know want to think of him anymore. I haven't really bought into him being a flat track bully who only makes a score when the pressure is off... but his habit of being dismissed before lunch/tea lately, plus a couple of times (like today) where we've needed him to dig in and he's got out stupidly... it's a bit of a worry.

And because of our dumb bastard selectors, we don't have a spare specialist batsman, even if we need one.

We're in strife here... need these two guys to put on plenty; hopefully they've got the mental strength and application to do it - then we need large contributions from the tail... then we need to rape the Poms in their 2nd innings...

This is why I hate, yet love, Test Cricket. Out of 7 days of cricket, we've dominated probably 5 of them - yet we're in a position where it's meaningless and they'll be ahead.

[Kingy]

Add North to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

Add Johnson to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

Add Haddin to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

This is pathetic.

[dmc333]

Thanks Haddin, ya cunt.

If you're moaning about the light why are you playing shots like that.

[peternorth]

Add North to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

Add Johnson to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

Add Haddin to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

This is pathetic.

clarke, no pressure = runs = womans day = ghey ads

johnson = had fucked cause of his mummy

haddin = bad. TLCs own bad haddin is back.

FUCK THIS. MOAR RAIN PLEASE!!!!!!

as for hughes i think stardom has gotten to his head. anyone see the 3 mobile ad? he's in it with the other fuckin soft poof brett lee. i blame lee

[peternorth]

and u know what shits me? fuckin poms in the crowd. all of a sudden they like cricket :confused:

[Hugh Jorgen]

Peter North is going to blow the fuck up... and rightly so.


Punter got fucked over by Rudy, the senile old ****.

Hughes needs to stop believing he's got a problem with short balls - because he doesn't, but the Poms have made him think he does, so he's playing dumb shots.

Kato, dumb shot to get out to when we needed his stability and grit in there.

Huss - what the fuck mate; your a gun at leaving the right balls, but what the hell was that? You've seen a few other players (Strauss this morning!) get knocked over in the exact same fashion - why throw your wicket away like that?! We just lost the Kat, needed to consolidate.

Clarke - I really don't know want to think of him anymore. I haven't really bought into him being a flat track bully who only makes a score when the pressure is off... but his habit of being dismissed before lunch/tea lately, plus a couple of times (like today) where we've needed him to dig in and he's got out stupidly... it's a bit of a worry.

And because of our dumb bastard selectors, we don't have a spare specialist batsman, even if we need one.

We're in strife here... need these two guys to put on plenty; hopefully they've got the mental strength and application to do it - then we need large contributions from the tail... then we need to rape the Poms in their 2nd innings...

This is why I hate, yet love, Test Cricket. Out of 7 days of cricket, we've dominated probably 5 of them - yet we're in a position where it's meaningless and they'll be ahead.

Add North to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

Add Johnson to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

Add Haddin to the list of people getting out to a fucking stupid shot.

This is pathetic.

Agree with all those assessments Kingy, apart from Hussey. Can't really blame him too much, it was just a great delivery from Flintoff that swung in at the last second (similar to Hilf's one that got Strauss) and he misjudged it. It's not like he threw his wicket away with a stupid shot like the other muppets and he at least made a fifty.

Punter was a bit unlucky too but the rest should be hanging their heads in shame.

Our only chance now is if the Poms make us follow on and we get a big 2nd innings score and set them a target or it pisses down and we get a draw. If they bat again and we're chasing 500 plus in the 2nd innings we're screwed.

[BuzzKillington]

Highly doubt we'll make the follow-on now, although I'm tipping the proud Victorian Siddle to get into double figures. I'm guessing our only hope is make a fucking mammoth 2nd innings total and bat most of the game out/hope for rain. Fuck I just hate the poms so fucking much. That cunt stuart broad just absolutely shits me to tears he looks like a fucking 6 foot tall 5 year old I just wanna tear his fucking eyes out DON'T CELEBRATE YOU FUCKING HACK YOU'VE DONE SWEET FUCK ALL IN 7 DAYS OF CRICKET I BET YOU LOVE IT WHEN ONIONS FUCKS YOU IN THE ASS

[BuzzKillington]

seriously, what a cunt

[peternorth]

i agree

[Ljp86]

Just a total opposite to the last test, batters had very little discipline and the bowling was ordinary at times. Johnson has been embarassing in this test, for a guy who is leading our attack here, he has been shit all tour so far. Needs to pull his finger out and start putting the ball in the right areas, some proper coaching would help for a start, employing McGrath in a part-time role as a bowling coach would be a step in the right direction. Even dropping him for Clark might be an option so Hilf and Siddle can open the bowling.

Hilfenhaus has been our best bowler so far, well done to the selectors for sticking with him, Siddle's been serviceable and Hauritz surprised all at Cardiff. Batting has been crap in this test with the exception of Katich who was out to a dumb shot and Hussey, who's leave was a horrible misjudgement. Huss had the perfect opportunity to make a big score to save the team but blew it. The rest were all fairly ordinary, out to silly shots, throwing their wicket away. Ponting was perhaps a little unlucky but the guy can't captain, unfortunately we don't have anyone else.

Can't see us avoiding the follow-on but nowadays many teams don't enforce it. Strauss probably won't but you never know. Weather forecast isn't promising for the next two days however.

[peternorth]

rain dance, NOW

[Haddo]

We can still win , we just need Siddle to puke on the crease and bowlers run ups.

[peternorth]

We can still win , we just need Siddle to puke on the crease and bowlers run ups.

it might help johnson!

[LondonCalling]

Weren't we all talking about how poor form it is to be praying for rain last test?

Wonder if the follow on will be enforced?

[Hugh Jorgen]

Weren't we all talking about how poor form it is to be praying for rain last test?

Wonder if the follow on will be enforced?

Probably depends a lot on the weather. If its still cloudy & overcast (ie.good for swing bowling) then England will probably enforce the follow on, if its bright & sunny they may choose to bat again.

By batting again England can pretty much take us out of the game by getting a lead of 500 plus, but if there is more rain they may run out of time to bowl us out again.

[peternorth]

rudy really really hates australia doesnt he?

[LondonCalling]

Think a lot will also depend on how long it will take. If the remaining two wickets hang around a bit, it may make Strauss reconsider, lest he's forced to overbowl his pacemen (although Harmison and Sidebottom waiting in the wings). Hopefully some support can be offered by Bopara, Collingwood and Pietersen in the 2nd innings.

On the other hand, the Australian bowling attack currently holds no dangers to the English batsmen on that wicket, and at best would be chasing 200 on a flat, flat, flat wicket. I think Strauss has to now captain to avoid a draw, rather than beating Australia, as that is well on the way to being accomplished.

I hope they persevere with Broad for the third test, he has a shitload of potential. Regardless, wouldn't be surprised to see him make way for Harmison. Anderson is still shit, for mine.

[peternorth]

broad appeals to poofs like lee does.

legend warney! keep talking us vics up!

wtf is with the aussie ashes tours over there? fuckin ***** wearing bright yellow jackets and ghey daggy caps.

[peternorth]

its a boundary fest!!

[Hugh Jorgen]

Think a lot will also depend on how long it will take. If the remaining two wickets hang around a bit, it may make Strauss reconsider, lest he's forced to overbowl his pacemen (although Harmison and Sidebottom waiting in the wings). Hopefully some support can be offered by Bopara, Collingwood and Pietersen in the 2nd innings.

On the other hand, the Australian bowling attack currently holds no dangers to the English batsmen on that wicket, and at best would be chasing 200 on a flat, flat, flat wicket. I think Strauss has to now captain to avoid a draw, rather than beating Australia, as that is well on the way to being accomplished.

I hope they persevere with Broad for the third test, he has a shitload of potential. Regardless, wouldn't be surprised to see him make way for Harmison. Anderson is still shit, for mine.

Yeah apart from the weather, the other main factor is how the bowlers are travelling, especially Flintoff. They won't want to over bowl them.

Surprised England didn't play Harmison, thought he would have played ahead of either Broad or Onions, who are steady but nothing special. Anderson can be shit at times, especially if it doesn't swing, but he can also be a matchwinner on his day. A bit like Harmison.

[Travyo]

Fuck onions is a ugly c*ntload

[Travyo]

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Hugh Jorgen]

So the Hilf & Siddle need another 30 runs to avoid the follow on.

I think we're fucked.

[peternorth]

time to swing the willow dermie. take a few pommy carnts out with u

[LondonCalling]

Spot on Athers

[Hugh Jorgen]

Been a test for last wicket partnerships.

Hilf & Siddle playing like Hayden & Langer here, but with less of the homo shit.

EDIT: All out now, should have known my post would curse them

[LondonCalling]

Fuck, had me worried....

[LondonCalling]

Nah, stupid decision.

Are we really going to take 10 wickets on a flat track before the rain comes? Surely Jimmy Anderson's never going to run through the Australian top order anywhere like that again?

[Travyo]

Hughes better stop been a little pussy faggort and bat properly, honestly think following on = bad, we could make 400+ on this pitch if we actually don't bat like dickheads.

[Hugh Jorgen]

Poms batting again.

Not that surprised to see them wimp out and play it safe. They might regret it if it rains on the last couple of days.

[LondonCalling]

380-400 will do me, with about 10 overs at them today before stumps if the weather holds up.

[Kingy]

Poms batting again.

Not that surprised to see them wimp out and play it safe. They might regret it if it rains on the last couple of days.

Yep.

We need to be in their ears constantly here, Warney styles; reminding them of the Adelaide Test, and their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory - and our ability to win the unwinnable.

If the Poms play like normal, they'll be too scared of us winning the game to make an attacking declaration, and potentially bat the game to a no result.

Having said that, the only factor here at the moment is Johnson; if he can't get his act together, at best, I'd say we can draw this Test.

[Travyo]

Pffft as if any of those soft cocks will be in their ears.

[Hugh Jorgen]

We need to sub Warney on as 12th man, just for sledging purposes.

That will freak the Poms right out.

[Travyo]

What is this leg stump shit Johno is bowling

[dmc333]

Looks like someone turned the pie warmer on.

[Hugh Jorgen]

MJ bowling for the declaration already by the looks of it.

[Travyo]

Seeing Hauritz come on before lunch is so laughable, I remember the days there would be 2 around the bat with Warney spinning them a mile :(

[dmc333]

lolz at Martos saying Boony was complaining about all the tour games on tour.

You could just imagine him, wanting an extended session after a win then, then being shipped off on the bus to a new ground for training.

"fuck off simmo, it's drinkin' time"

[peternorth]

if we're batting on the last day send out the physio, team manager, coach, team mascot in the last hour. every minute.

[peternorth]

ok another 3 mobile ad. this time with watson, lee and johnson. it was onimous wasnt it?

[Hugh Jorgen]

lolz at Martos saying Boony was complaining about all the tour games on tour.

You could just imagine him, wanting an extended session after a win then, then being shipped off on the bus to a new ground for training.

"fuck off simmo, it's drinkin' time"

I remember reading Steve Waugh's diary of the 1989 tour and they had to play a cownty game the day after they won one of the tests.

They were all hungover as fuck and one of the cownty batsmen lobbed a simple catch to Boony at short leg, who was half asleep. They all yelled out 'catch' to Boony and he panicked, slipped over and faceplanted with the ball bouncing off his head.

EDIT: Had to write cownty because co**** is apparently an evil word in the eyes of the Chirf.

[peternorth]

fuck me hauritz strikes

[Hugh Jorgen]

Hauritz takes a wicket :eek:, he should bowl with a busted finger more often.

[peternorth]

fuck me hauritz strikes

and again! ive always been a fan of his

[Mancey]

The radiation from the xrays have given Hauritz Dr Manhatten like powers

[Hugh Jorgen]

Holy fuck, Hauritz gets another one.

Get Peitersen now and we're still a big chance.

[peternorth]

lol someone in the field said "oh fuck off" when billy dickhead denied hilf a wicket

[Hugh Jorgen]

lol someone in the field said "oh fuck off" when billy dickhead denied hilf a wicket

Might of been Warney in the commentary box. :D

[peternorth]

FUCK PONTING :mad:

[Mancey]

Fuck punt...2 fails in 2 min

[peternorth]

jesus these pommy carnts in the crowd are pissing me off. where were they over the past 20 years?

[Hugh Jorgen]

We need to sub Punter off and get Warney on, better slips fieldsman & better captain.

[Travyo]

^^^ This

[Mancey]

Lol...they just showed the replay of warnies 2005 drop in slips

[peternorth]

lol lloyd - a 19 way split screen of mcgrath getting out athers

[Travyo]

They'd all look the same as well, Mcgrath squaring up Atherton, getting caught in slip or bowled, good times.

On a side note, fuck Bopara is shit.

[peternorth]

oh fuck johnsons on now

[Travyo]

Yep, pies are still getting served well after lunch

[Travyo]

PISS OFF YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF FAGGORT SHIT

[LondonCalling]

Fuckin cheat Hauritz

[Travyo]

Yeh it Bounced, fuck Bopara is batting slower than Atherton, aganst a shitter attack.

[Hugh Jorgen]

Story of the 2009 Ashes, controversy about a catch between two mega tards like Hauritz & Bopara. Then crossing to another megatard like MacGill in the commentary box to make an assessment.:rolleyes:

I'd so much rather be back in 2005, even with bombs going off in the tube stations.

[Travyo]

Is sad when Hauritz is taking all your wickets

[peternorth]

thank god for siddle

[Maverick]

How good was Northy's throw. It looked like he closed his eyes & just hoped it'd land near the stumps.

Weapon

[Hugh Jorgen]

Well we're officially fucked now, unless it rains for the next couple of days.

[Haddo]

Well we're officially fucked now, unless it rains for the next couple of days.

I think it's time for agent Reep to play his hand and dig up the pitch

[yssup_MasTr]

Who the fuck does Freddie think he is? Saluting to the crowd after getting a wickets....Its like a Jeff Farmer raising the arms to the heavans every time he gets a goal

[Travyo]

Flintoff = massively over-rated, seriously, more so by himself as well.

[Mancey]

Fuck me...that wicket was a no ball

[yssup_MasTr]

IT WAS A NO-BALL AS WELL CHEATING POMS

[peternorth]

what are the pommy commentators saying?

[LondonCalling]

Flintoff = best big game performer in test cricket over the last 25 years not named Shane Warne.

Will be missed.

[dmc333]

Fuck this is shit.

Digital signal keeps breaking up.

I am getting nice stills every 5 seconds though.

[Mancey]

what are the pommy commentators saying?

One in the back of the box said "Bad luck". Carnts

[yssup_MasTr]

Ponting could of easily asked for the physio, but were not a time wasting cheating team

[peternorth]

One in the back of the box said "Bad luck". Carnts

send AB up there to belt the bloke

[Kingy]

Fuck me...that wicket was a no ball

Called it on the first replay.

Rudi Koertzen is a useless old cunt, and it alway seems to be us that the senile prick fucks over.

[Travyo]

Um wow, we are getting screwed over

[LondonCalling]

Not even close to being out. Wow.

[Mancey]

WTF is with this umpiring.

The Hauritz catch referred and that one wasn't? Fucking this is bullshit fuckin

[yssup_MasTr]

It didnt fucking carry....double standards here, England had the chance to watch a replay from the 3rd umpire when they batted yet Australia dont get that chance

[Hugh Jorgen]

Fuck me, we're getting robbed fucking blind here.

First wicket off a no ball and now a catch that bounced.

[Runk]

WTF is with this umpiring.

The Hauritz catch referred and that one wasn't? Fucking this is bullshit fuckin

I concur. Cheating fucking *****.

[Mancey]

If that was referred it was not out 100 times out of 100

[LondonCalling]

If you were Strauss though, from your perspective you would have thought that you'd caught it.

Poor form from Koertzen.

[Travyo]

Yeh Strauss probably thought he caughtit, but how can you not refer that? what the fuck, we should be 0 for, not fucking 2 for

[Runk]

I'm about to go all Leo Getz on these fuckers, cos we are getting fucked over something chronic.

[peternorth]

I'm about to go all Leo Getz on these fuckers, cos we are getting fucked over something chronic.

okay okay...

[Kingy]

If you were Strauss though, from your perspective you would have thought that you'd caught it.

Poor form from Koertzen.

How so for Strauss? It clearly bounced, he would've felt it in his hands, as well as the dirt and grass - at the very least, he should've stated that he thinks he caught it, but he wasn't 100% sure and that it should be checked.

Instead, he chose to claim it, I hope he's comfortable with having cheated to get a wicket.

You're right about Rudi though, there is absolutely no reason for him not to refer that, especially considering the precedent with both Ponting and Hauritz in the first, will look forward to hearing his explanation how this one was any different.

Except for the fact that he always seems to make these fuck-ups when we're involved.

[Mancey]

It's 2005 all over again. At crucial moments when we're a bit below par, some gay arse decisions by the umps really fuck us over.

Freddy's knee might even things up a tad tho

[bigburger]

Kingy the mods on the cricket board are a bunch of fuckwits.

[Kingy]

It's 2005 all over again. At crucial moments when we're a bit below par, some gay arse decisions by the umps really fuck us over.

Freddy's knee might even things up a tad tho

A decent opening partnership, with Katich hopefully digging in for a while, was a massive requirement if we were ever going to draw this game.

We're fucked now.

[Hugh Jorgen]

A decent opening partnership, with Katich hopefully digging in for a while, was a massive requirement if we were ever going to draw this game.

We're fucked now.

I reckon we're still a chance while Punter is still there. If he goes we're definitely fucked.

[bigburger]

A decent opening partnership, with Katich hopefully digging in for a while, was a massive requirement if we were ever going to draw this game.

We're fucked now.


Draw was never an option. Batting for 180 overs+ on a 4th and 5th pitch is near on impossible. Only option is to try and win it.

[bigburger]

I reckon we're still a chance while Punter is still there. If he goes we're definitely fucked.

Nah mate we are literally no chance.

[Mancey]

Unless it rains.

I'm just heading out to sacrifice a chicken to our god

[peternorth]

over

[Hugh Jorgen]

I reckon we're still a chance while Punter is still there. If he goes we're definitely fucked.

OK, we're definitely fucked now.

[Swamp]

Check out what I stumbled apon searching fo rthe correct spelliong of Rudi Cuntzens name.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudi_Koertzen

Last para.

Smart arse pom *****.

[peternorth]

from bf cricket board:

Damn.

Broad sucks dick, and Ponting had to get out to him

Lucky Ricky


wtf?!?!??!

[Hawks1523]

from bf cricket board:






wtf?!?!??!

wtf'd at that too. :eek:

[Swamp]

Weird. The place all of a sudden smells like masscara, blood and double cheese pizza.

Also red pubes.

[Hawks1523]

The fucks going on at your house then?

Also what happened to the barmy army? Did they all turn into a group of 13 year old girls?

[Swamp]

Are they cutting you with their remarks? Making you see red?

[yssup_MasTr]

Anyone pissed off at those kids whos voice is yet to break (may be normal pommy accent) who are singing "WHO WE ARE, WHERE WE COME FROM, WE ARE THE MIGHTY MIGHTY ENGLAND"

[peternorth]

Anyone pissed off at those kids whos voice is yet to break (may be normal pommy accent) who are singing "WHO WE ARE, WHERE WE COME FROM, WE ARE THE MIGHTY MIGHTY ENGLAND"

sums up poms really. not interested in cricket until 05, now they've got their tails up they're all back.

or maybe its just cause its lords and they go to be seen rather see. a bit like the swans scg crowd

[peternorth]

btw anyone who wears sunnies whilst bowling needs to be shot

[Travyo]

^^^ Mark Waugh board

[peternorth]

fuckin hell hussey!!! :mad:

[Suspense]

this is the worst christmas ever.

[yssup_MasTr]

the cunt just got a wicket

[Mancey]

Didn't hit it

This is fucked

[Hugh Jorgen]

Fuck me, 3 out of the 4 wickets so far shouldn't have been out.

Obviously the umpires are keen on having a day off tomorrow.

[Kingy]

This is the single worst display of umpiring I've ever seen.

The Poms were almost certain to win this anyway, but we've been deprived of a decent finish, and the Poms earning a hard fought win, but a pair of senile, spastic, ******** old fucking *****.

3/4 of our top order given out when they clearly weren't, plus Punter in the first innings, is un-fucking-believable. And the fact the Poms haven't showed Punter's dismissal a dozen times makes me wonder if that was a no-ball as well.

I'm fucking filthy, but I've also lost interest in this Test.

We got fucked over by those **** umpires in 05 (and they almost killed the careers of Katich, Martyn & Hayden), and now they're doing it again.

I hope Warney or McGrath or one of those lads comes out in the media and absolutely torches the Umpires for this display of fuckheadedness, and gives it to Strauss for claiming that catch too.

[peternorth]

fuck me. fuckwit ***** spinner gets a wicket.

[Ron]

Wow who would have thought we would be a chance at the end of day 4 after being 5-120 odd with the umpires fucking us over.

I know you ***** on here love giving shit to the NSW boys, but at least they are doing something out there, not like those stupid fucks Ponting and Hussey.

Fuck if we win this match we should get a public holiday.

[peternorth]

ive always thought rudi kkk has had it in for us aussies. imagine if symmonds was stil in teh team! we wouldnt have made it past 50!

[thegrach]

Fuck if we win this match we should get a public holiday.
I have got to admit, I don't agree with much you say Ron, but this is spot on. It would be a miracle if we win it, but if we do the series is over, the Poms will be absolutely shattered.:thumbsu:

[RoosterLad]

Fuck I hope we win this and fucken stick it up the cheating pommy cunts.

I expect Warnie to charge out of the commentary box and do another dance too.

[LondonCalling]

Heh, I remember that interview that Ch 9 did with him before the start of play on the first day of the Aus vs. NZ test last year, after it got delayed because of the grand stand falling down.

"Rudi Koertzen did not come all the way from South Africa to sit in the dressing room, Rudi Koertzen came to Brisbane to umpire a test match, and it's very disappointing for myself, and of course the two teams, but you can bet your bottom dollar that Rudi Koertzen will be doing his best to get the two teams playing cricket as soon as possible..."

Not enough people refer to themselves in third person these days.

[peternorth]

rudi, your diplomatic immunity's just been revoked

[Maverick]

I hope Rudi is brutally raped at knife point. Fucking shocking display from that c*nt.

Anyway, we'll win. MJ will come in and pump the required runs after Haddin (no doubt) fucks something up.

[thegrach]

It is a shame he wasn't umpiring in Pakistan recently.

[Swamp]

Its all pat of a BCCI conspiracy to marginalise the power of Australian cricket.

Rudi is on the take from the curry munchers.

[PowerKat]

need to post about the fucking crap fucking umpiring in this thread



that is all

[peternorth]

tlc written all over this

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/8937/haddin280x390848983a.jpg

[Travyo]

I'm so keen for this first hour to start, come on Rad Haddin

[Hugh Jorgen]

If we can get through the first hour without losing a wicket we're a big chance. Lose a wicket early & it will all be over by lunch.

Hopefully it's more of Rad Haddin today and not Bad Haddin.

[Travyo]

I chucked $20 on aussies at $3.60 for lulz

[Hugh Jorgen]

Fucking hell, Poms appealling almost every fucking ball so far.

[Travyo]

Done, over, bye :(

[Hugh Jorgen]

Unfortunately it was Bad Haddin today. That's game, set & match.

Hopefully MJ can go down swinging and hit a few out of the park.

[peternorth]

mj needs to hit an unbeaten ton and hit the winning runs to make up for his shit perforamces

[dmc333]

Credit to Clarke for that innings (cause I hate the cunt) But why is he attempting that shit? Had to carry his bat.

[RoosterLad]

Hauritz you spastic.

[Hugh Jorgen]

Well left Hauritz.

[Travyo]

I could of spent that $20 on important things, like hookers.

[yssup_MasTr]

Can someone please shoot Flintoff?

[peternorth]

fuck i hate flintoff. what a cockhead. up there with lee in terms of celebrations

[Hugh Jorgen]

Freddie stealing Jeff Farmer's act now?

[Swamp]

Poor effort from the Aussies today. Any real cricketing superpower would have been on a plane yesterday headed for home in protest to the umpiring.

[Hugh Jorgen]

Fuck, anyone would think the Poms had won the Ashes already with the way the cunts are carrying on.

[Swamp]

If Flintoff gets man of the match Rudi has every right to spew up in disgust. A performance like that should not go unrewarded.

[Kingy]

Hahah, whose unloading fury on the cricket board?

The use of cuntload is a give away ;)

[Swamp]

Linkage?

[peternorth]

fuck u u cheating cuntz. ull fuck u up in the next one.

btw, this deserves much reps

http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/3053/27042890.jpg

[peternorth]

post 400 on the bf test thread has unfortunately been deleted

[Mancey]

It's not much consolation, but i'd rather a quick death like that, than getting to 2 runs away and having it snatched away, ala 05.

Still fucked, but that gutted me

[peternorth]

punter should smash athertons head in. honestly who gives atherton the right to comment on anything. he was a shit captain, a shit batsman and is a cunt of a person.

[peternorth]

Hansie Cronje = did the right thing, killed himself, now if our politicians can take a lead from this behaviour every time they are caught our doing something corrupt...


lulz

[pickman]

punter should smash athertons head in. honestly who gives atherton the right to comment on anything. he was a shit captain, a shit batsman and is a cunt of a person.

Not watching the TV, what did captain failerton say?

[peternorth]

Not watching the TV, what did captain failerton say?

basically asked ponting how he feels about surrendering the 70 odd year record

WFT fintoff motm?!?!

[peternorth]

i want to rape flintoffs wife

[pickman]

WFT fintoff motm?!?!

WTF :confused:

All Freddy did was finish off the game. It was Strauss' ton and Anderson's efforts with bat and ball in the first innings that won it for them.

Freddy's just become the Ashes equivilent of Robbert Klomp!

[Kingy]

Somebody find a Pommie cricket site, lets go abuse some *****

[Whacker]

So when do we start burning effigies and holding the ICC to ransom stating that the black cunt and the other cunt never umpire another test involving Australia and if our demands arnt met then we will forfeit the rest of the ashes series

[thegrach]

You missed it? I can't believe Syd didn't send you an invite.

[RoosterLad]

VALE KP.

Out for the series.

[thegrach]

Flintoff to follow is the word on the street.

[Mancey]

Not sure about this talk of Robot maybe replacing Hughes as an opener.

http://www.cricinfo.com/engvaus2009/content/story/416006.html

And in other news, Punt goes all Benny C on us and sports a white belt with his skinnies.

But he was playing golf, which makes such things ok

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/4849/1063402m.jpg

[thegrach]

It's the unwritten rule, insn't it. You can almost wear anything you like on the golf course and get off scott free. I am going to wear a gorilla suit around my local club, see if I can't shake a few of the older members.

EDIT: And pray like fucking hell that bushie doesn't take up golf that day.

[peternorth]

VALE KP.

Out for the series.

theyll prob replace him with another foreigner

[RoosterLad]

Just saw Watson's interview on FoxSports.

Basically stated that he will single handedly win the Ashes for Australia.