Are ALL women prostitutes?

[Ghost Who Walks]

This happened on the weekend without word of a lie. I was not there but I have it straight from the horse's mouth.

Bunch of guys at an upmarket-ish bar.

One of them (we'll call him Ben) is completely smashed, whinging about not having had sex in a while going into graphic detail about his desire to eat pussy and have a bird piss on him.

His cousin Larry is like "Are you serious?"

Ben: "Yeah Larry I love it! I need pussy I'm dying without it!"

Larry: "I'll get you a bird to piss on you but I have GOT to see this!"

Ben: "Yeah get me a chick!"

Larry spots a girl - perfect. Brings her over and says "I'll give you $500 bucks to piss on my mate." Larry is fully expecting to be told to fuck off, but the girl says "Yeah I was just about to go for a piss I'll do it!"

Larry: "But you have to let us watch."

Girl: "How many of you?"

Larry: "Just half a dozen of us."

Girl: "Hmmm... for $1000?"

Larry: "You're on!"

So they all pile into a maxi taxi and head back to Ben's flat. Ben gets there and sees the girl and says "Oh no way she's hot!" and starts snogging her, thinking she's too good to be pissing on him!

Long story short the coke comes out and it turns into a gang-bang on this girl who didn't end up even asking for the $1000.

... and Ben was too pissed to get it up and didn't have any Cialis so he missed out on everything! hahaha!

[peternorth]

please go into more detail

[jimmy35]

Technically she isn't a prostitute as she didn't ask for the money .

Good on her for having such strong values .

[Captain Sensible]

Good on her for having such strong values .

And calves for that matter.

[Ghost Who Walks]

One quote I missed out was Larry telling Ben:

"Mate if I do this there's none of this her just pissing on your chest. It has to be in the face and you have to GARGLE it!"

[jimmy35]

That's a given I would have thought .

[RCU]

where is the poll?

[Ghost Who Walks]

It gets worse! There's a picture of Ben wandering around naked after failing to get wood. My god. The horror.

THEN I hear that another guy - we'll call him Bill - was on the couch rooting gang-bang girl's friend. Ben has by this time abused the gang-bang girl who stormed out (* whose boyfriend had flown in from another city to surprise her, she found him waiting in her flat when she got home at 4AM - this is too much :D ). Bill looks out the corner of his eye to see Ben about two metres away FINALLY having got it up, madly wanking off watching Bill root Girl #2 (Girl #2's boyfriend HADN'T flown back into town to surprise her).

HAHAHA!

Us: "Bill what the hell did you do when you saw that??"

Bill: "I tried not to think about it."



(* Turns out we know the girls through someone else.)

[The Fishman]

Yes, they are.

[Ninty]

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!?

[WA ROO]

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!?The alarm clock went off,he then realized it was all a dream

[jaxxon]

Fuck, what a shit storyteller that bloke was. Awful.

[tribey]

agreed. besides which, in 90% of cases the answer is yes.

if it isnt the wealth of a bloke per se, its the lure of free drinks, free coke or reflected fame.

you could look like rocky dennis or be albert fritzl, but if you buy a woman 5-6 drinks or supply her with a mediocre line or two and her knickers are off quicker than azaria chamberlain's noggin.

cut the pretense, straight up offer her the cash value of said alcohol or colombian marching powder in exchange for intercourse and she'll turn into germaine greer with half a litre of projectile bile laser-locked on your shit-eating grin.

selective feminism ftw.

[Charles Darwin]

Everyone has a price. I doubt I'd kill anyone but I'm open to offers.

[Charles Darwin]

albert fritzl

Is that one of the inbred sons?

off quicker than azaria chamberlain's noggin.


You cunny funt. I'm stealing that.

[tribey]

oh sht it's josef, but you get the gist - beloved incestual raepist :thumbsu:

[Charles Darwin]

oh sht it's josef, but you get the gist - beloved incestual raepist :thumbsu:

And we thank him for the lulz he's provided.

Elisabeth should stop whining.

[pepe]

And we thank him for the lulz he's provided.

Elisabeth should stop whining.



It's a known fact she stopped moaning the minute she moved out





edit : there's no place like home

[Admiral Afterworld]

rocky dennis

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/snoopfan187/RockyDennis.png

[Power King]

Don't think the Trump would happy with the notion of him having had sex with rosie o'donnell

Trump's thoughts on rosie:
xGZaCnfNgLE

HELL YEAH BITCH NIGGGGUUUUHHHHHH

[Charles Darwin]

Ever tried finding noodz of Rosie O'Donnell? I bet that isn't a saved search in Google.

[T-Bone]

Elizabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas. There was one you could fall in love with. Shame Cagey drank himself to death, could have been a Romeo and Juliet story.......well half of it was.

[PowerKat]

Elizabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas. There was one you could fall in love with. Shame Cagey drank himself to death, could have been a Romeo and Juliet story.......well half of it was.

thanks for the spoiler :mad:

I might have ended up watching that movie some day :p

[T-Bone]

thanks for the spoiler :mad:

I might have ended up watching that movie some day :p


I am sincerely apologetic, :( but I am saving you the pain of feeling so depressed at the end of it. :D

[rick James]

Fucking oath, that movie is suicide inducing.

[PowerFat]

Fucking oath, that movie is suicide inducing.

I have cried in three movies in my life.

No 4.

E.T
Old Yella
Griffin & Phoenix
Leaving Las Vegas

I really don't know why, but I bawled like a kid in Leaving Las Vegas.

[T-Bone]

Fucking oath, that movie is suicide inducing.

Agreed. :thumbsu:

I have cried in three movies in my life.

No 4.

E.T
Old Yella
Griffin & Phoenix
Leaving Las Vegas

I really don't know why, but I bawled like a kid in Leaving Las Vegas.

Bit close to home barring the prostitute. ;)

[rick James]

I cry when I watch the transformers movie from the 80's. Every time. Right when Hot Rod unlocks the matrix of leadership and becomes Rodimus Prime and you hear prime tell him to rise. And then he fucking punches megatron through unicron's eyeball. I'm balling by that stage.

[PowerFat]

I cry when I watch the transformers movie from the 80's. Every time. Right when Hot Rod unlocks the matrix of leadership and becomes Rodimus Prime and you hear prime tell him to rise. And then he fucking punches megatron through unicron's eyeball. I'm balling by that stage.

totally understandable...

[Picko99]

No tears for the horse in the quicksand in Neverending Story?

[Banana Republican]

dont watch Grave Of The Fireflies if dont like a cry

[Blitzer]

:rolleyes: God this thread is pointless, of course all women are sluts!